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The invitation: Take what resonates with you, do what you want with it and ignore what is not workable in your reality. You are free, always. It’s your life, your moments, your heart, your family.
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PUBLICATIONS: Expanded Family Magazine
*Click Cover Photos to be read
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Expanded Family Magazine is a free community publication full of education, resources, wisdom and practical solutions for modern families.
Although our definition of “Expanded” exists outside of the traditional (intact) family model, the truth is; any person on the planet -in any family structure -can benefit by reading the articles inside of this magazine. We have also come to understand that ‘family of choice’ includes members of the community who are not blood related, but rather, connected at the heart.
Although our definition of “Expanded” exists outside of the traditional (intact) family model, the truth is; any person on the planet -in any family structure -can benefit by reading the articles inside of this magazine. We have also come to understand that ‘family of choice’ includes members of the community who are not blood related, but rather, connected at the heart.
INTRODUCTION TO EXPANDED CONSCIOUSNESS PUBLICATIONS/PROGRAMS FOR STEP-FAMILY DYNAMICS
HARMANIZING IN REVRENT TIME
LEVELS OF CONSCIOUS CO-PARENTING
Welcome to Expanded Stepfamily Life!
I'm Christina Marie! (Also known as the Bio-Stepmom Peace Negotiator)
TO START:
I'd like to share with you the "levels of Co-Parenting," from an expanded consciousness-holistic vantage point and how we prefer to slowly, safely with everyone's health and well-being in mind- move with the ever evolving family landscape.
The levels of co-parenting in a stepfamily: where a child (or children) go back and forth between two homes.
The base line foundation within the levels of co-parenting is:
Mending fences while building bridges.
The fence would be the biological parents. This includes the time they were together to date and all that the children experienced from their birth to now.
That's the first level.
Biological (mom and dad)
The bridge would be the who in each house post divorce (separation or whatever the status between parents may be)
That's the second level.
Bio-step (mom and stepdad or stepmom and dad)
The third level of co-parenting is everything that happens as the children are moving from one house to another. The space in between. The movement from house A to house B and from house B to house A.
QUICK CHEAT SHEET:
Level one: Biological: Mom and Dad
Level two: Biological and Step (Mom and stepdad’s house and Stepmom and Dad’s house)
Level three: the space between level one and two which the children travel.
In this way, all of the adults involved are all responsible for who they are, what they send out and how mindful they are about doing no harm to themselves, each other and the children as the children experience the full reality of their Expanded Family landscape. Aka level one, level two and level three.
Divorced parents typically want their children to thrive in life. It's mostly the "how," to get them there and "who," should (and shouldn't) get them there that takes parents off track as it relates to what they truly want.
Mending fences while building bridges allows room for the fullness of honoring the co-creation of the precious children, as well as the building of the bridge.-Reverently
The bio-stepmom compass creator primarily handles level two of the co-parenting levels. However, it also filters softly and adds healing value to level one and level three as well.
Just as the Peaceful Exchange Program primarily handles Level three co-parenting (the exchange between homes) and that program has massive power to positively impact Level One and Level Two Co-Parenting: In addition to helping adults heal in a way that most of their life energy lives in the present which gives them more power to be in solution oriented in the present.
PROGRAM CONTENT FOR: The Bio-Stepmom Connection (or Disconnection)
"The bio-stepmom relationship isn't about the connection each woman has with the man or the children. It's about the connection they have with themselves and each other. The sooner they realize this, the better."
Christina Marie,
The Bio-Stepmom Peace Negotiator
PROGRAM: THE CONSCIOUS BIO-STEPMOM COMPASS
“When each woman realigns within her most natural vibrant self- the bio-stepmom connection (or disconnection) begins to reorganize for both women.
Women in stepfamilies need time, patience and reverence so they may discover their unique bio-stepmom rhythm. Did you even know each bio-stepmom in every stepfamily has their very own unique bio-stepmom rhythm? Sometimes their unique rhythm will lead them to be able to sing “Kumba- ya.” around the stepfamily camp fire and that is just lovely. Bravo At other times - the uniqueness of the connection moves two women only so far and their greatest growth exists in having the capacity to be in the same room -at the same family function (together yet separately) and not feel uncomfortable or not cause tension, chaos or drama for others.
That may actually be the most they can do and for that specific family-the unique rhythm between those two women, their ability to do that: is family miracle, a cause for celebration - considering the history between the two women. And that is just as lovely. Bravo
Much of the wisdom within women in stepfamilies is sourced by the women in their own stepfamilies.
Allowing these women to be where they are and grow organically from there- based on their unique rhythm (vs a sterile formula) is softer and less damaging to their physiology. We can find our unique rhythms when we stop hiding behind others and take responsibility for what is ours to take responsibility for. How any two people relate to one another is their responsibility.
The biostepmom connection is no exception.”
Christina Marie, The Bio-Stepmom Peace Negotiator
Click below to download the most simple version of The Conscious Bio-Stepmom Creator
| Simple Conscious Compass Creator |
The Corresponding Publication to go with this simplistic program: REMOTE CONTROL
Women in Stepfamilies: Book 2: Remote Control
How to stay focused on what happens in your home and why you have more power when you do
In 2006, the movie "Click" came out.
On-line you will be able to find the move synopsis reading as follows: "Michael Newman (Adam Sandler) seems to have it all but his wife, Donna (Kate Beckinsale), is increasingly frustrated by the amount of time he has to spend at work. Michael cannot find time to be at home until he meets an eccentric inventor (Christopher Walken) who gives him a universal remote that controls time. At first he happily skips the boring times until he realizes the remote is in control of his life and he learns to cherish all the precious moments with his family." "Until he realizes the remote control is in control of his life"
For women in stepfamilies, when each woman picks up her universal remote control and presses the buttons (trying to control all that happens in someone else's home, her need to control two homes isn't the bigger picture issue.
The bigger picture issue is how many precious moments she misses out on, how much time and energy she is spending trying to control someone else's home… remotely.
All the internal stress that causes her, all the cortisol running through her own blood stream, her inability to be truly present in the present."
On-line you will be able to find the move synopsis reading as follows: "Michael Newman (Adam Sandler) seems to have it all but his wife, Donna (Kate Beckinsale), is increasingly frustrated by the amount of time he has to spend at work. Michael cannot find time to be at home until he meets an eccentric inventor (Christopher Walken) who gives him a universal remote that controls time. At first he happily skips the boring times until he realizes the remote is in control of his life and he learns to cherish all the precious moments with his family." "Until he realizes the remote control is in control of his life"
For women in stepfamilies, when each woman picks up her universal remote control and presses the buttons (trying to control all that happens in someone else's home, her need to control two homes isn't the bigger picture issue.
The bigger picture issue is how many precious moments she misses out on, how much time and energy she is spending trying to control someone else's home… remotely.
All the internal stress that causes her, all the cortisol running through her own blood stream, her inability to be truly present in the present."
PROGRAM CONTENT FOR: PEACEFUL EXCHANGE PROGRAM
Peaceful Exchange Program for Moms. How to honor your child’s moment with Dad. 🙏🏼
This program is universal and not gender specific. It’s simply been designed specifically for mothers who were seeking solutions. It aligns with Expanded consciousness work within “A Woman’s physiology is the most important thing.” In the program the program serves the children’s relationship with their father. It begins by harnessing the need to disrupt the physical reconnection between a child and their father -to allow the physical reconnection to solidify. Then you give Dad the itinerary. (Logistical, practical elements that come with level 3 Co-Parenting.
We do not use the exchange between houses to “dump” on the other parent. Instead, we slow down. We recognize our children have been waiting to see dad all month, all week, all day. We harness our need to do that to honor the physical re-connection between dad and child.
This is us respecting our children at the highest capacity. When we send our children over the bridge -we want them to feel they are cherished and safe through the exchange. Beyond that, these exchanges are an incredible opportunity for a biological mother to disengage from the "I am your wife" mantra that gets stuck inside her own body, mind and heart.
This program is universal and not gender specific. It’s simply been designed specifically for mothers who were seeking solutions. It aligns with Expanded consciousness work within “A Woman’s physiology is the most important thing.” In the program the program serves the children’s relationship with their father. It begins by harnessing the need to disrupt the physical reconnection between a child and their father -to allow the physical reconnection to solidify. Then you give Dad the itinerary. (Logistical, practical elements that come with level 3 Co-Parenting.
We do not use the exchange between houses to “dump” on the other parent. Instead, we slow down. We recognize our children have been waiting to see dad all month, all week, all day. We harness our need to do that to honor the physical re-connection between dad and child.
This is us respecting our children at the highest capacity. When we send our children over the bridge -we want them to feel they are cherished and safe through the exchange. Beyond that, these exchanges are an incredible opportunity for a biological mother to disengage from the "I am your wife" mantra that gets stuck inside her own body, mind and heart.
The Corresponding Publication to go with this simplistic program: He's Not The Dad You Want Him To Be
He's Not the Dad You Want Him to Be: How to accept who he is and why that helps kids accept who they are
To co-parent with another human being we may not like, may not agree with, may not share the same values, or someone suffers from mental illness or any number of things: How could that not be an opportunity to Answer the
Call to Adventure? To move through challenges and temptations into the Abyss. Death and Rebirth can be symbolic of our capacity to grow into the reality of our co-parenting lives. It could be our transformation that makes the biggest difference (Not the other parents)
For women in stepfamilies, women reject and refuse the call all the time. “I’m not going to educate myself on addiction because I am not the one who is addicted.” Is something that I hear a lot.
This may be true, yet it is also true that you pro-created with another human being whose struggle at this time is addiction. If that is a truth known before or if it lives within the journey of “The Unknown” isn’t as relevant as the opportunity to protect and prepare the children who exist in the middle through educating ourselves until we are able to guide, prepare and be a supportive trustworthy advocate for them through Act 2: Their initiation (Which includes Atonement with the Father) and be there for them with our hearts full for Act 3: The Return. When our children are able to fly and be the master of and feel their own freedom to live their lives.
We can not advocate for something we ourselves are not living. When we try to do it that way, when we try to just talk the talk and not walk the walk, we have less supportive trustworthy power with our off spring.
Call to Adventure? To move through challenges and temptations into the Abyss. Death and Rebirth can be symbolic of our capacity to grow into the reality of our co-parenting lives. It could be our transformation that makes the biggest difference (Not the other parents)
For women in stepfamilies, women reject and refuse the call all the time. “I’m not going to educate myself on addiction because I am not the one who is addicted.” Is something that I hear a lot.
This may be true, yet it is also true that you pro-created with another human being whose struggle at this time is addiction. If that is a truth known before or if it lives within the journey of “The Unknown” isn’t as relevant as the opportunity to protect and prepare the children who exist in the middle through educating ourselves until we are able to guide, prepare and be a supportive trustworthy advocate for them through Act 2: Their initiation (Which includes Atonement with the Father) and be there for them with our hearts full for Act 3: The Return. When our children are able to fly and be the master of and feel their own freedom to live their lives.
We can not advocate for something we ourselves are not living. When we try to do it that way, when we try to just talk the talk and not walk the walk, we have less supportive trustworthy power with our off spring.
FOUNDATIONAL PUBLICATIONS: Before you decide to divorce, to date a person with children and all the things. As well as....an opportunity to move through things to honor the entire family landscape, which is tricky!
NAVIGATIONAL SKILLS FOR STEPFAMILIES: THE WORKBOOK
Navigational Skills for Stepfamilies: The Workbook
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“I was interviewed for this book by Christina, and to see how my anecdotal points of reference have been brought to life within the framework of her "roadmap" for Stepfamilies is remarkable. I grew up a part of two stepfamilies, one highly functional, and one very dysfunctional, and looking back to 30+ years ago, I have always blamed the wrong people (myself included) for the failures and successes of each family. The "blending" of the two families was always rife with animosity and tension. Christina manages to create a 4D roadmap (including the role that time plays in the equation) that everyone can embrace as both guidance for those on the wrong path, and reassurance for those on the right path but who are still experiencing some self-doubt. I would recommend this to all stepfamilies, and even to those considering divorce, so that they can fully understand the broader implications of their actions and decisions.”
~ Schuyler Wickes Whose Hair is it?
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"What I often here from biological mothers about “whose hair is it,” is a mindset that everyone should just know, their permission is needed.
However, that’s not really something everyone “should just know.” What we discover is: in marriage (or connection) when partnered with Dad, she just did it. That’s just something mom handled. Rather than something they discussed as something that was hers to do. Therefore, Dad's sudden interest in doing that becomes a violation. That is him disrespecting her as her children’s mother. Trying to take something from her that belongs to her. Something he never did before he met “that woman.” Therefore, the conclusion is: It’s not just disrespectful, it’s intentional disrespect. The intent now becomes malicious and even more so with the help of an accomplice: Stepmom. That gets filled with the rest of it. All of the other stuff- which is put in a folder called: All of the malicious intentional disrespect I’ve been experiencing since way back when. All it takes is one text to open that file, feel the malicious intent as a sensation of here we go again and add that to the file. On and on this goes. |
