Sobonfu's teaching about "Ancestors Mortgages" and how we can re-negotiate our contracts with our ancestors and our relationships now-resonated with me.
My writing will be a combination of her teaching and my perceptions of them. To truly get the purity of her work, a person would need to experience her themselves.
An Ancestrial mortgage would be the goop that continues to be handed down from generation to generation.
Re-negotiating relationship contracts was the big reminder of my weekend.
Sobonfu spoke about spiritual relationship contracts and how sometimes, when no one in the family wants to come forward to heal or break the generational goop chain-our ancestors will find someone outside of the family to help heal or break the chain.
She said "we call this falling in love."
She explained it by giving examples of relationships where all of our friends and family try to get us to see the person we are dating from their perspectives. "I don't like him/her" "what are you doing with that guy/woman." "Why can't you see what is right in front of you about this person?" "Why are you still in this relationship?"
Sometimes, what many can't see or don't realize is that this person was brought in our lives by our ancestors to shake things up. To help in the healing process.
She goes further into people who do not renegotiate their spirit contracts aka divorce. But the catch seems to be-if you do not heal what is meant to be healed inside of you and you make the choice to divorce - you will carry those unhealed parts into your next relationship.
This resonated with me on a deep level.at this awkward time of agreement we will not be renewing our relationship contract yet not being fully gone yet... I seem to want to heal or have awareness of what needs to be healed. Whatever is there-I do not want to carry that goop into my next relationship.
When I met this man 10 years ago, I fell in deep love. It felt enormous. The type of love that made me want to wash away all and any previous relationship residue so I would be showing up in this relationship "clean," I didn't want to bring any baggage or unhealed energies into this. Therefore, i made a list of all the men I dated before him. I called each man who I felt may have some residue left from our ending. I met each man and requested feedback on what was the best and the worst thing about being with me and is there anything they need to have closure with me. I figured hey, if I'm going to do this-why not get some feedback on my own behavior and things about me that may be hurtful or maybe I'd receive the same feedback from every man and it would force me to look at a blind spot I may have that I'm unaware of.
This is the level of cleanness I wanted to be able to give this man. I wanted to move into this relationship with a light spirit and no residue what-so-ever.
It also washes away that burning nagging question of: Why did we stay in it so long?"