Yet every once in a while I receive the "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME" text.
Person: "I want to invite you to a party" (Details: time, date: location: Philadelphia)
Me: "Thank you, I won't be able to make it, I hope the party is wonderful!"
Person: "Are you sure you can't come?"
Me: "I'm pretty sure...I live in Honolulu"
Person: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???
I don't even know what to DO with a question like that. I don't know how to respond. I try to put myself in another persons shoes but really, unless we are connected at the spiritual hip level (meaning we've been flowing daily in the now) Why didn't you tell me!!!! comes across as an accusation and an unreasonable expectation. It feels out of context.
I become confused. I can't connect to it or the person when they come at me in this way. But really that's because I don't have an answer. Other than...I didn't think it was necessary for me to do so !?!?!?! Or, gosh, you didn't even cross my mind as I was reconstructing my entire life. LOL I mean how does one respond to that question?
This type of communication then becomes filtered into the context of the third pillar in my program "Reverent Communication" (Cause that's how my mind works) I'm looking to improve my ability to be reverent in my communication most days and I'm always looking into improving on my program where the third pillar is "reverent communication"
I think about all of the various ways anything could land on anyone. You just never know where someone is in each moment, particularly if you haven't seen them in 3 years, haven't spoken to them in a year and you are 5000 miles apart. You never know what is true for any human being at any time. And that includes the person texting me to attend this party. I don't know what is true for them either...
So now, I have learned to just opt for the smiley face as a response.
That seems to be working...