"What I often here from biological mothers about “whose hair is it,” is a mindset that everyone should just know, their permission is needed.
However, that’s not really something everyone “should just know.” What we discover is: in marriage (or connection) when partnered with Dad, she just did it. That’s just something mom handled. Rather than something they discussed as something that was hers to do. Therefore, Dad's sudden interest in doing that becomes a violation. That is him disrespecting her as her children’s mother. Trying to take something from her that belongs to her. Something he never did before he met “that woman.” Therefore, the conclusion is: It’s not just disrespectful, it’s intentional disrespect. The intent now becomes malicious and even more so with the help of an accomplice: Stepmom. That gets filled with the rest of it. All of the other stuff- which is put in a folder called: All of the malicious intentional disrespect I’ve been experiencing since way back when.
All it takes is one text to open that file, feel the malicious intent as a sensation of here we go again and add that to the file. On and on this goes.