The purpose of the book is circular. The incredible authors stories shared and the book sold filters back into humanity in the form of the money goes to The Covenant House (They do a lot for Homeless Youth) and VP Youth Trust, which is a non-profit in India.
This morning I was thinking of giving the book to one of my team members Wendy because I felt so free from handing the book over to India I was seriously considering this.
However, my why with India was full of integrity and felt peaceful, right and true. Whereas...My why I want to give this book to someone else here in america.. does not bring me peace and is not about me being in integrity. That's about me not wanting to deal with what is currently coming up for me. Also though... Perhaps this book would serve so many more people if it was downloadable for FREE
The story was going to be all about the making of this book from conception to completion. There were all kinds of severe breakdowns from start to finish. Lot's and lot's of lessons. This continues to this very day. The minute the book resurfaced, there was a continuation, residue if you will and not just in me. While everyone likes to say "just move on," or "Just get over it." That really isn't how the human psyche works.
This book was actually created through two quarters of a course in landmark education called "Team Leadership." It's a year long super intense program my former spouse enrolled himself in.
I would have been most happy to be what is known as a "Landmark Widow," for that entire year. I would have loved that actually. As I already knew myself, my psyche and my personality is not -at all -a match with those who are that intensely driven.
I did not want to be on team. I wanted to be a landmark widow. I wanted to focus on the kids and my magazine and all the other things I had going on.
To grow at the speed beyond my own nature isn't how I'm meant to grow. It just isn't. This can be explained using the Ayurveda Dosha's. Although we are all, all three dosha's, my constitution:
I am primarily Kapha and then Pitta.
Emotional Characteristics of Kaphas:
Kaphas are naturally calm, thoughtful, and loving. They have an inherent ability to enjoy life and are comfortable with routine. When in balance, Kaphas are strong, loyal, patient, steady, and supportive. People with an excess of Kapha tend to hold on to things, jobs, and relationships long after they are no longer nourishing or necessary. Excess Kapha in the mind manifests as resistance to change and stubbornness. In the face of stress, the typical Kapha response is, “I don’t want to deal with it.”
Emotional Characteristics of Pitta:
Pittas have a powerful intellect and a strong ability to concentrate. When they’re in balance, they are good decision makers, teachers, and speakers. They are precise, sharp-witted, direct, and often outspoken. Out-of-balance pittas can be short-tempered and argumentative.
When pittas are overstressed their typical response is, “What did you do wrong?”
Ever since I republished this book, I have been experiencing the co-existence of happiness combined with an odd sort of heaviness. Similar to social unrest. Something about this book has been troubling me. When I put my attention on the book-I feel a beautiful sense of responsibility combined with yuck around it.
It's the next thing and the next thing and the next thing because you can't stop, because if you stop- you'll die. Or something. I don't know what that's really about for people.
However, there are many stories in the book, many organic stories from humans who never took one course with landmark and somehow their stories are incredible and have equal power in the possibility of changing someone's life.
When I read the book from start to finish - I am literally reading my brothers story, my old boss's story, three of my clients stories, my friends stories and then I am also reading stories from landmark graduates too and my own story as well.
I have reverence for them all.
For me, it is the authors who make this book what this book is and many of these stories are not landmark stories.
That's what makes it beautiful. Growth, expansion, truth, courage and vulnerability can all happen organically too. You don't have to be for or against Landmark. You just have to be a human walking this earth.
This is one of my favorite parts of this book. It speaks into the human experience from all over the world and it speaks into the truth that anyone at any time can have a breakthrough. Landmark is a choice and it's a wonderful choice for those who are driven in a certain way...but it is not the end all and be all of how to live an extraordinary life.
Maybe Stories of Courageous Vulnerability is meant to just be available for free. There is that possibility too and that actually feels kind of good to me. Actually that feels kind of amazing.
I will think more on this but as I write this in my live journal... what is developing in my heart is..having this book downloadable for free.
Then maybe the covenant house will recommend it to the people they are helping...so they can read...everyone has a story...they are not alone. No one is ever alone. Maybe thats how every author can help the covenant house...through story telling...
To date (that I am aware of) there was one printed version purchased. That was my friend here, she's very supportive. And one kindle version that I am aware of. Neither purchase can now be found and no money has been deposited into my account. If that doesn't happen and I change it to free, I will simply give that money to the covenant house myself and move on.
I'm not sure what to do here...but it will come to me... when it feels peaceful...that's what I will do for sure.
It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,