"What I am doing wrong with men"
I was deeply perplexed.
At this time, this man and I spent less than a week together. There was literally nothing either of us were doing wrong. It was pure yum yum YUM...
How odd and bazaar it would have been for me to ask the man I am in yum-yum with....that question.
I couldn't help but think -me asking any man that question would be what I was doing wrong.
These types of suggestions usually have me think the person who is making it is probably finding value in their own life and maybe has their own way of doing the whole dating thing where that suggestion has value for her personally..
For me though....
I do not have that never married -never had children context a lot of single people have.
I also do not have the only ever been married context either.
My biological clock is not ticking. I mean.. I don't have any "itch" to procreate. Nor am I in the place where I have this severe -deep -unfulfilled -dis-satisfied painful -longing in my soul to hurry up and couple up.
There isn't anything in me these days that has me feeling "WHERE IS HE????"
Context is key. At least with me anyway.
Correcting some deficiencies is not really my thing. Healing my triggers-so I can walk freely and have deeper layers of joy YES. Finding the spots in me -i want to change or shift..well that's just fun...
Moving the way love moves, well now you're talking! That's what I'm doing. Giving me suggestions, tips, ideas or advice would require knowing what it is I am actually doing right now and why.
Besides I already did an expanded version of that years ago in my previous single life. I asked everyone I ever dated for longer than a few weeks: "Would you be willing to tell me what was the best and the worst thing about being in a relationship with me?"
That was incredibly fun and liberating too.
The truth was everyone had completely different answers anyway. Mostly because each connection existed on its own merit.
And, I laugh when I hear myself say something like
Correcting some deficiencies is not really my thing because....
The Men Who Shove A Woman's Head South
WHAT IS THAT????????. It's one thing if you're in the Dom/Sub playing field and that's something agreed on (perhaps) but otherwise...
If you need to shove a woman's head...you're not doing it right...
The truth is this: if a woman wants to do that she will. Turn her on in just the right way and your pleasure is her pleasure. Ask her, make a request. Do something other than the shoving of the head.
When I hear these women's stories....I think to myself "why isn't anyone speaking up? If you don't like it, if it doesn't FEEL good TELL HIM
That kind of thing would shut my turn-on right off and would turn my lecture mode right on.
Behind that, the turn off is this:
He's not hungry to please me or give to me. He's just hungry to have me please him first and foremost. That's the depleting kind of sexual expression that drains women.
It is my theory-how you DO sex is how you DO life and that filters into how you DO relationships.
Oh look....here are some random books... In case anyone is interested....
Now back to my regularly scheduled program of visualizing for the joy of it...