"To be ourselves causes us to be exiled by many others, and yet to comply with what others want causes us to be exiled from ourselves."
~Clarissa Pinkola Estes
And there it is....
I remember this from the Obama campaign when one of my family members "De-Friended" me. Oh man, my feelings were so very hurt. Deeply hurt.
I didn't like this persons political views either. My choice was just softer...I decided to *Scroll* For me, family and friends, actual human beings with a beating heart mean so much more to me than who someone votes for.
This impacted me and became just another grieving process.
This wasn't just some random friend on facebook whom I never met and would never see in person. This was someone who would be at every family event. There was no consideration or caring toward me. Just exiled. I found myself in a very hard spot.
This is to me how families weaken the thread of their own family without caring about the impact of this. I don't like this and my not liking that runs very deeply.
I love my family. Even when we don't agree or see eye to eye. I LOVE my family.
We are family, therefore every time I walk through a door where my family is, I'm reminded, I have been exiled by this one person. This requires me to "shake it off," pretty much every time. I'm also reminded when everyone is tagging each other and I can see we are not friends. That too is a reminder. I have been exiled. I make a conscious choice to focus on the larger number of people who have not exiled me in my family with the awareness that they may actually feel exactly the same as this person but they haven't allowed that to bring them to exiling me.
Let's talk about it, let's resolve, let's agree to disagree. Anything..something..
Underneath of all of that is my knowing we are all going to die some day and at some point. This is at the heart of the matter for me.
I am not open to regret, therefore, this person is alone as it relates to the inability to honor another human beings right to believe, vote and express their point of view. The cut off-Is one sided. I am not living my life making politics more important than love, people, family or friends. I am not doing that. No way Jose.
I have ingested, digested, absorbed and eliminated, what is to me, pure shit anyway....so that...every time I see this person I say hello with the joy and love that is me. I think about how this could easily weaken the chain of our family and I'm not willing to do that. Not to anyone in my family.
I say I love you and I mean it. What is true for them is irrelevant to me, I'm going to love you anyway because we are a part of something bigger here and....It is me who has to live with me.
Now...when I see this person and the "mmmhmm you're the one who exiled me" comes up (because it still does) its soft and floats out quickly.
Or when everyone is tagging everyone else and it's sort of impossible to not see the truth there either...it's soft...and it floats out quickly
Im pretty sure I have Donovan to thank for both my inability to tolerate cold temperatures and also my willingness to ingest, digest, absorb and eliminate until I can return to the center of myself. If I kept hatred or hurt in my heart...that would be me exiling myself. I'm not doing that either.
I have yet to have a conversation with a republican who has had the capacity to be in the conversation with me and not find some way to insult me, my intelligence or invalidate my point of view. Yet, when I do not agree with a democrat, my disagreement is handled with respect. I don't want to have this awareness but it's been true 100% of the time. I can't even give a 1% because it's literally been 100% of the time.
In conversation, in person it's super easy to say "Okay, we won't be able to talk about politics but that's cool because there are 3425-3406834-06834-0924-05924-6084-60834-608345-04950- Other things we can talk about....In this space....when I recommend this...it is rare that a republican can just agree to disagree. Thankfully, the percentage goes down...and we can move on...
But social media makes it impossible to discover this "softly." as a one on one conversation does.
I have found myself needing to say to myself:
You've accidentally ingested this...now you have to go through the process or you will carry it (KNOW THY SELF)
Rinse and repeat....and when you do not have the capacity to do that or to just *Scroll* quickly (KNOW THY SELF) just get the hell OFF of social media and remain true to who you are
United we stand...divided we fall.....
We can now see how deeply divided we all are....
I've made my decision. I'm going for United we stand and I can only do that by being heart centered and remaining true to a little thing called LOVE....(No one said it was easy)
No matter what I see
I believe, I believe
Every good day needs it
Every bad day needs it
No matter what I see
I believe, I believe
Stronger than any bomb any man has ever made