All #connect and #intersect as “one”
Last year’s memory.....
“Well, I’m grieving and I’m learning about Peri-menopause as I go here. Sometimes the cortisol rushes to my brain so fast I don’t even know it happened until after it’s already happened. So if you want to hang out with me... it’s important that you know this. Also though, I do have a 100% solution proof system that works every time with me.
All you have to do is hug me.
What happens is, the cortisol is replaced by oxytocin.
I have been living alone a long tine now and I’ve conditioned myself to feel good. On my own. It just so happens that warm and fuzzy is my all time favorite sensation, this works 100% of the time within seconds.
I’m letting you know so that you can win with me. I want you to win with me.”
I have never been peri-menopausal before. I don’t even have access or power yet in my own management system.
peri-menopause for me (which was exasperated by a series of significant losses-grief) for me personally -was something I had to learn how to manage for myself.
Every month, there was some subtle difference or some not so subtle difference. Last months itchy back disappeared and next month something else showed up.
Being that I have not been living my own life waiting for marriage or starving for sex since I feel I am old enough now to have agency over my own sexuality....
I have a wide bandwidth of experiences that let me know some important distinctions.
the men who understand that form of communication -actually want to win with women. They see you as amazing. Hormones are not only no big deal -all they want to do is make you feel better if you don’t feel good. They seem to understand their real power is in giving. Not taking.
Like the wolf.
The very moment my energy shifted he grabbed me very quickly and I melted instantly and within seconds we laughed at me and him and each other.
He had his moments too and we just moved through them quickly.
Never willing to waste any time holding each other “down.”
I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe”
So when a man says something as insane as “You have to make me want to hug you, you have to earn a hug from me.
After I have gifted him with the exact key that would allow him to win with me 100% of the time at this stage of my life....plus you are totally free to not hang out with me. I’m good either way and I understand. Either way...
Hmmmm let me think
I have to “earn” something as simple as a hug?
I’m sorry. No thank you.
To be honest, I hear that as a feminine response. Not a
You want me to be your hero?
You want me to prove my worth and get on my horse and gallop off to slaying dragons as you lounge around while someone feeds you grapes.
All that will happen is you will negatively impact my female physiology and that will cause me to go against my nature and something inside of me will be activated. I will become overly masculine to your feminine approach.
And then the world will come down on ME blaming me for not being more meek in my femininity or they will also blame me for being too masculine
No matter how we spin it...if I was more meek or I was this or I was that....it would work out.
That is illogical at best and the least loving thing I could ever do for either of us.
Pretend that I’m willing to see myself as less than worthy or not worthy enough of love exactly as I am right now.
When really....we could be hugging and playing and laughing and adding years to each other’s lives via enrichment and more.