He says that all men are designed to learn and decide for themselves how they want to handle this DNA within.
We all know the grass is greener concept but I like his version. First because I love peaches, second because it’s really clever to articulate women from the picking of a fruit tree and we women are so juicy :) All of us...
He says, this DNA programing can easily side track a man from cherishing the juicy peach he already has selected. In any moment this DNA programing can kick in
see the peach way on the top of the tree and it’s natural to see it, desire it and confuse it for being better, more juicy and long for what is better or more juicy instead of
leaning into the juiciness of the peach already in his hand. He believes, to know this as a flaw in
his DNA helps him navigate, love and cherish the woman he is with because she is the woman of his dreams. He already has the woman of his dreams. To him, it doesn’t
get any better than her. Yet, he too has this flaw (as he sees it as being in his DNA.) He does not worry about ever cheating on his dream woman because he has mastered the
art of understanding this as something to master inside of himself vs something to eradicate or make himself wrong about. When this flaw comes to the surface, he says, Okay
I know what this really is and I’m going to navigate it because I am in charge here. What he does is he thinks about
something he cherishes about his dream woman who is the extremely juicy peach already in his hands. He leans into what he cherishes about her. Beyond that though.. more
extraordinary to me was how he also articulated something that I’m currently writing about in my book: Tender is the heart: 16 lessons of Love and Loss. Through his experiences
in life, before he accepted this as a flaw in his DNA, he experienced a lot of loss’s and ways of being in his relationships with women that ended up killing the connection in many
ways. He was at a crossroad within himself.
At this stage of development, some men just decide never to cherish the peach that they have in their hands already, others decide to remain single or head into a more open lifestyle
(which is more honest)
He has decided to use his nature, his flawed DNA, what he desires most in connection with a woman, his divine masculine, his own lessons of love and loss-combine all of the data
he has collected to work with his DNA, so that he is in alignment with being deserving of having the woman of his dreams-remain the woman of his dreams.
He believes if you know these things you can work, cultivate and master these things and keep getting more and more juice from the fruit that is already in your hands by finding more
things to cherish and having the realization that when you love someone that deeply, loss is inevitable. Death knocks on every human door. The combination of focusing on cherishing
her plus having the awareness that life is now, life is fleeting and in any moment, life can take it all away in the blink of an eye…has made him a deeply reverent lover. Beyond that, he’s
also a reverent son, brother, friend, boss and stranger to meet on the street.
One of the most beautiful lessons love and loss has taught me-(Donovan dying in my arms…) is this very thing. Not so much the DNA flaw but more to the point, life is fleeting. Moments
matter, people matter, love matters and it does end. All of it ends.
For some, this is sad news, for others it makes us stronger, more loving, more present and less likely to minimize the importance of showing up in each moment with a high level of
gratitude wanting to discover what we can cherish today in the people we love most. Every love story has a physical ending, but done right…our collective love stories live on and on...
This Saturday evening I met a person who I connected with and it seemed to me our connection was friendship based. There was even a moment several hours later where this man lifted his hands in a high five after I said something that made him laugh (hard) he said the words "You are my friend." In this moment I thought "Great, friends is good" I mean, I'm pretty flexible in this way. While our connection was instant in the realm of comfort level and we did spend several hours sharing so much about ourselves...I'm a reverent listener. I believe what people say and I felt like I had enough information to assess-he was not at all interested in anything more than a buddy. His energy was lovely, friendly and I enjoyed being in his presence. So when he said "Would you like to cuddle" I really thought we were just going to cuddle.
Now this is the third time I have been asked if I wanted to cuddle -having zero access, thought or inclination that it meant more than just cuddling, which I know that makes me sound like I'm slightly retarded perhaps but honestly, what a lovely surprise and gentle pathway into connection. It's beautiful in the way of there being no pressure and there isn't anything in me that feels like I need to do anything more than cuddle with another human being. And this man is so sweet, he really was cool and would have been totally happy to...just cuddle. I felt that.
I'm in inquiry all the time. I asked a small circle of men if do you want to cuddle means just that. They thought hard and gave me their honest assessment. They said no, men don't generally just want to cuddle." As they gave real thought to it, the one man said "The exception to that rule is if he's had a lot to drink, because then cuddling may be all he can do"
I mean, I LOVE THIS!!!!
When I said to one of my girlfriends "Well, I don't remember that from my single days and I have to say...it's really sweet"
Her response "Yes, it is and that's why it's been working...forever"
I think it's sweet and warmth inducing and choice allowing
I dig the "do you want to cuddle" thing....
I'm just saying...
That is all