Since I'm no longer living a life that is not in alignment with my own nature, I don't actually need mental health days any more.
The evolution and alignment is now a part of the Love Affair with Thy Self Movement. A Designated Desire Day sounds so much better to my brain now.
I wanted to see where my desire would take me. There was no real intention other than to ask myself in each moment "What's my desire?"
Great stuff, beach, sailing, a trip to the local market to buy some fresh fruit and vegetables, reading, singing, dancing, meditation, weaving in and out of Pro-Ball Beach to be in the middle of the vibration there. Loved the energy, the people, the music. I had the thought to get a pedicure but then I was swept away by the island....
I was just walking down the street with my bluetooth headphones on, listening to "Oh Happy Day" in my own little HAPPY brain when I ended up next to this gentlemen who appeared to like my appearance very much.
This happens a lot here in Honolulu, and my normal response is thank you, or to smile and then I keep on moving. It's just my nature to just keep moving...
And I would have if he had been alone or with a bunch of other men, but this gentlemen was with a few of his relatives who were playful and kind.
I could feel an invisible thread of affinity between the family members. Which prompted the most natural desire to offer to walk with them to their desired location. They were looking for sushi! And I have been gifted here on this island with so many people's generosity in helping me, this felt so natural to me and I was happy to offer. And I was going in that direction anyway...
It didn't hurt that their nephew had that "something" shinning in his eyes when he looked at me. Reminding me of that saying "Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic" he had that kind of shininess in his eyes.
As we walked, there was this adorable thing that happened. The family exchange of protectiveness "Who IS this woman? And what does she want?" Lol. It's times like these that me being the Bio-Stepmom peace negotiator comes in very handy. I am used to that fierce family protective instinctual flow.
It was endearing to me that the Aunt was the queen. She was revered by these men and that was nice to see and experience. Good people.
This man was guarded and began to question me. I could sense he didn't trust me. Which was fascinating to me because I'm me and I know I'm trustworthy. At some point in this -I began to feel like his questions were to see if I was worthy of his time. Which, I'm not really the type to prove myself (my worth) to anyone. Trust or don't trust, yes or no, connect or don't connect is more my thing. But because I met him when he was with his kind natured family, I gave him a little more wiggle room. And these things are also always an opportunity to practice what I preach in terms of "peace negotiating" self love, open heart, reverent communication. He was just on the edge, I could feel it in me. I was just about to graciously bail out because my reverence began to lower slightly when the line of questioning felt like too much work on my part to simply be with another human being without any fear blocks...and then, something happened that felt like a breakthrough and a sweet kiss near one of my favorite trees. Now we were getting somewhere....
I had the opportunity to spend a little time with him. I'm going to call him the Warrior. (Remember my previous post about the men traveling into my life at this time-and how I'm naming them with light hearted reverence, respect and gratitude for everything these men are teaching me about where I am in my development at this time. Each gifting me with something unique and valuable.)
I affectionately label him the warrior because he had that divine masculine superior man thing going on. Watching him move was like watching art in motion. I liked the way he handled himself, other people and especially me (because you know, it's all about me at this time :)
His vibe was straight up yet guarded. By the time we went out dancing his freedom and ability to freely self express himself, his joy and how much he loved his life was beautiful to me. I felt like I could see him through experiencing him rather than asking questions. I like to feel my way through.
There were many many women at the club who were drooling over this man. It was like he walked in, all bright and shiny and took over the place in all of his shiny love for himself and life. He had so much charisma, you couldn't help yourself. He was, as they say, all of that and a bag of chips.
I'm discerning. As much as I come off as Ms Sunshine, my complex brain is always assessing moment to moment. As he was trying to collect data outwardly by asking me questions I had been energetically assessing him the entire time. Collecting data in the form of observing his flow, nature, the way he moved, the things that he noticed, the things that he said, the way he handled me or the world around him... Just taking him in moment to moment. Just because I wasn't outwardly assessing, doesn't mean I wasn't doing that. I'm just more inclined to collect data in a different way.
In the end, he traveled back to the mainland, leaving me with a deep respect for how he moves vs anything he could have said to me or told me about himself.
I'm new to living in Honolulu. I'm new to opening up to people i know are just traveling through Hawaii. I'm learning as I go...