I do have Tinder Downloaded on my phone. More than anything I've connected with super cool people who I have a very high regard for and appreciate the connection, no matter what happens. I flow... It's cool. I don't pay a whole lot of attention to it though. Sometimes it takes me weeks just to respond, which goes against the purpose of Tinder but I have so many apps on my phone now, my phone is on silent 99% of the time and my tinder App, I have to swipe four times to get to it. Which kind of says a lot about where Tinder stands on my priority list (low low low) and I would delete it but for the most part, I meet very cool people...
Yet, every once in a while a person comes in- to show me exactly where I am right now in my development. In addition to, teaching me and reminding me how careless human beings are with each other's psyche if that person isn't "The One." In the realm of the consciousness movement, many supposed "conscious" people lack being conscientious. There is a very distinct difference between those two things.
Conscious just means awareness. That's really just one piece of the pie.
Being conscientious means something completely different. It's having the desire to do what's right. Being conscientious requires a level of maturity, honor and a "do no harm" consciousness that not everyone has.
Being conscientious becomes very convoluted and polluted for those who are self-protective, self-absorbed and self-centric which is a very different vibration than those who are truly having a love affair with thyself.
It can be very subtle or it can be like a swift heavy mud pie being thrown at you and you're like "WHAAAAAAAT??????!!!!!!????????
It's really just adorable. Her natural loving empathy where she likes animals and doesn't want to hurt animals by cooking and eating them-adults in the dating world could learn a lot from this little girl. I'm not talking about animals, I'm talking about making the connection within on how we treat each other and how sloppy and careless humans are.
You (you being anyone) may not come into my world, slim me with your fragile wounded ego or your arrogance or your ignorance, leave it there and then delete and block me from being able to get clean.
It's always best to get clean with me one on one because in that space: I'm a very generous person who does actually take accountability for her part. But there's a line there for me...and the line is this:
Taking accountability for me lives in my own personal integrity system. It does not live inside of someone else's filter of what it means.
As an example:
Yesterday, this man and I moved our Tinder connection to texts. Before I knew it - I was seeing words like "we could argue about this" and I thought "huh? ? Who is arguing?"
I scrolled back up through the text to be sure-there was nothing I said that was argumentative. There wasn't. Not for me. This non existent argumentativeness matched the sensations I was having in my body -the entire time. I felt no tension, zero stress and absolutely nothing that would indicate I was in an argument with this person whom I have never even met. I would not have allowed the conversation to go to text if I wasn't planning on meeting this mean for coffee or something. I don't play games with people. That's not my nature.
Then it got really twisty for me when he said something about how I was somehow...doing something to him and then there was something else said followed up with how "peri menopause must be tough" ending it as if I did something really wrong and I ruined it and I was the person who did this or that to him.
This kind of crazy making person... I don't have those types of people in my life anymore.
My final response was "Whoa, I've got nothing."
I felt both slimmed and grateful for the swift shift. Text can be easily misinterpreted...to not leave room for that possibility is kind of a red flag for me personally. To me, it's the mark of a man who takes himself way too seriously. And any person who puts a zinger out there, then delete's you from being able to contact them at all...removing the opportunity to get clean before moving on...the level of self-absorption in those childish moves says a lot about a person's true character. In my opinion.
That said, I will get clean any way I can and if that means posting on my blog...I have no problem doing just that.
I couldn't send him this, this am when I woke up because he disappeared from everything...deleted me.
This is what I would have said:
"I'm sorry for not being present to our text exchange and I apologize for not even letting you know the distance between your text and my responses had to do with all that I had in front of me. That wasn't good form.
I could have just said, I can't focus fully on this conversation right now and perhaps the flow would have been different.
You take care and I hope you find the person you are looking for.
That....to me....is CLEAN.
The whole peri-menopause comment...I had to laugh. He's right though, it is tough to be dealing with peri-menopause. That's why we have no desire and no interest for men who make comments like that. It's tough enough without having some guy come in and act like a complete pompous ass. No woman needs that. Besides, there are all of these juicy amazing men who understand how to stay in the juice. They don't dump their wounds on women, They aren't afraid of our hormones, and they don't cut a woman off and out of their life as if that's even remotely necessary. It is those men, the one's that are smarter than that....they get the best of us...As they should