Aloha Ka Manini (What we are learning now in Hula!)
Aloha ka manini me ka pōpolo
He iʻa noho ia i ka laupapa
Kala, ka nenue ʻo ka nahawele
Moani ke ʻala ke honi aku
Āhole iʻa piko lihaliha
Poi ʻuala kāohi puʻu
Haʻina ʻia mai ana ka puana
Aloha ka manini me ka pōpolo
Hail to the manini and pōpolo
Fish that live in the reef
Kala and nenue mixed with nahawale seaweed
The scent is inviting
The belly of the āhole fish is rich and fat
With sweet potato poi it slides down the throat
Tell the refrain
Hail to the manini and pōpolo
And it's SO fun!!!!
I was a complete yes because a few months ago, Mark and Michelle had introduced me to Teddy's Burgers for the first time and I couldn't even believe it. The burgers are SO GOOD!!! And, these don't bother/slow down my digestion system. That is the part that really matters! It is rare that I want that. It just so happens that i didn't have time to eat before hula so I was hungry enough. All week I didn't feel like cooking all that much so I had a lot of protein shakes and vegetables... This was perfect timing for me...However....
As far as burgers go...
We believe that the only way to guarantee that the food you eat is healthy, safe and nutritious is to know the farmer who produced it. We sell the products of the farm from a historic barn on the farm so that our customers can see our animals and our farming practices. We encourage you to tour the farm and ask us questions. By purchasing food from Wyebrook Farm, you support the local community and ensure that this part of Chester County retains the agricultural character that has made it one of the most productive and beautiful places in America."
But I was also thinking about the way my mother makes scrapple. LOL You know....I haven't even seen scrapple here in Hawaii. It's just one of those things if you grow up with it...it's good. There are a few things I want to do when I do go to PA. Spending a few hours at this farm, to see what has changed in the last two years is high on the list for sure.
The Space in Between People
For several months the connection remains on a specific level. It isn't boring and it isn't deep either. It just is what it is. He's kind, nice, smart, and and not all that talkative ..all at the same time.
So it was interesting to even walk to his car with him and be in the passenger seat as he drove me. Due to my previous life and just how often and for the amount of years I was the driver, the taxi and all of that... I still experience this deep reverence, appreciation and this odd sense of relief when I experience something as simple as this.
It felt lovely to me for sure and I am able to enjoy these little moments and read into how I'm feeling through my own sensations without reading into him or what he may be feeling, thinking or wanting.
Following my sensations and my thoughts..While I do feel safe in my life generally speaking and I walk alone most of the time... Walking next to him- I felt that extra safe sensation that a woman feels when she feels safe with a man. I am very present to the simple things in life, like how good it feels just to walk with someone.
When I looked at him I thought about how handsome he is. I'm like "Wow, he is very handsome!" and I have seen him a lot. His energy matched his looks. He had this sweet smile on his face as we were walking. He's a happy-go- lucky fella generally speaking and it is lovely to be around that energy at any time and although I don't want anything other than our connection being what it actually is...when I was feeling into all of this, it was lovely to feel that sense of being with someone and I remembered myself as a woman who used to feel that way a lot. I have that thing in me where that simple stuff feels good to me.
When he opened the car door for me and moved his gym bag so I could sit-I smiled on my insides because I really love that. So much. While we all open the car door for a friend and move our gym bags....(because I have and would do the same) I was feeling him like I would a lover, or a partner or a husband and it felt good to feel into that. He is not that, but I can still feel what it feels like without it landing me into needing HIM to be that.
I realized, most of the men I walk to cars with here on this island are my girlfriends boyfriends/husbands or just my male friends. Energetically speaking there is a difference and I like the sensation of the difference.
Months ago we had a communication incident. I say that jokingly because it was really an opportunity.
The communication was framed in such a way by him that I felt he had that 50/50 consciousness thing going on. Many people have that and I don't do so good in pre-existing expectations particularly on the 50/50 consciousness realm.
All that "you wash my back and I wash yours," stuff people got going on inside of them and how it has to be or look a very specific way.
Most of the time I think who comes up with this stuff anyway?
Because my giving comes from my desire to give rather than a pre-existing conditional realm and sometimes people want me to wash their back when I am kneeling reverently washing their feet and they miss the entire thing because they are so busy looking for their backs to be scrubbed down.
And often I am left feeling like-give yourself a full bodied bath, I will give myself a full bodied bath and from that place, that place where we are both clean..... we can really just give and take and have the reciprocity be beautiful in its circular swirling and then everything you do or I do adds bubbles to the water and bubbles are so fun to play in. Doesn't that sound fun? You'd be surprised just how much and how often that does NOT sound fun to people. They don't trust it. They don't trust themselves, their choices, their own nature, the other person due to the past, their gender and all of that comes into play here....
Which is often a process for many of us.
However there are so many teachings inside of that 50/50 stuff that forgets to offer people the deeper value of recognizing -The she in front of you is not her. Just as I have to lean in and recognize that the he in front of me is not him.
And trust me, I have had plenty moments these last few years where a man has had to say to me "I am not him" and I am so grateful when someone is that conscious that they give me an opportunity to see myself in a soft way that lets me know what I'm doing cause sometimes I do that too. You know..being human and all...
In this way,
I can't be taking on the mess some other woman left some man with. Be it his wife, his mother, his sister or our culture at large.
I mean there is the holding and meeting people where they are and that is what they sort of tell you -they tell you where they are when they have that pre-existing expectation thing going on - that has nothing to do with you, now or the space in between. Yes many men are selfish but I'm selfish too. I'm selfish in many ways and one of them is-I am not saying yes to pre-existing expectations in the 50/50 consciousness realm. Particularly if our connection just exists as it does and we have made no agreements and are just flowing anyway.
So the "incident" lived there and I spoke up.
Needless to say, in making myself clear all I did was confuse the man. I do that sometimes too. In my desire to be very clear in reverent ways - I leave some man deeply confused. They don't know what the hell I am saying and that is usually a reminder for me to tighten it up, keep it simple, and keep working on my communication skills which is something I love to do anyway.
Men I have learned (and I have learned this in big/small easy/hard ways) they (like me) love direct and honest. And they (like me) like that direct and honest -to be soft and reverent most of the time but still-direct and honest. At least the guys I like who like me too anyway.
I'm not so good with pouring pink paint all over everything anyway. Although I love all things pink, sparkly, bubbly and all that stuff....and although I am soft, warm, fuzzy most of the time and my compassion and empathy often lead-sometimes moments require other things to lead just as much.
This gentleman didn't budge, leave or get an attitude. He just kept coming around. I think once you have been married for any length of time, your married habits travel with you. Habits of relating. Some of those 50/50 people are some of the most responsible people on the planet. Yet, they often also come with pre-existing expectations that didn't work in their marriage but they are still using them anyway. It's my experience, divorced people want to see themselves, they want to grow...they are often hungry for growth. If it's to meet the next person or if it leads them back to their ex isn't really the point. The point is their growth.
Time in the car with him was not this:
and it also wasn't this:
which looks not good or bad, just a little dull (but we don't know that, it's just a picture)
Just noticing the spaces in between....
that is all