Now, it's Happy Hula Tuesday and Happy Hula Friday
But this Friday there is no class because it's a holiday here in Hawaii....
Statehood day...everything is closed...Therefore, this Tuesday's practiced is all there is this week.
But I stay in my hula skirt all day and night on Tuesdays. I come in and out of practicing things that I learned. Sometimes I need to do just a hand movement 50 to 100 or more times and I still don't have it right.
Yesterday she stopped me and corrected my hand work.
This was very exciting to me because she told me she wouldn't be doing that until I became more grounded in other things. So naturally my conclusion upon her correcting my hand work was that I am getting better and more grounded at other things!
But if I go too fast and too far over my growing edge - I feel too much stress, anxiety, and it feels like it is negatively impacting my ability to learn.
But here in Hawaii-with hula - between my teacher and my neighbor and my neighbors friend (who is also a Hula teacher) the very second I am no longer in the dance....where the beauty, fun and joy of the dance stops and the stress and anxiety comes in -they can not only see the difference-they can feel the difference.
That's when I hear things like "You stopped dancing" and I can feel this happening too. This has been more helpful to me than anything. As I can connect sensation and connecting sensation helps me learn.
After practice she told me she is noticing when I don't bend my knees I am not grounded in Hula and I get off beat.
I said I've noticed that too and I felt what happens to me is...I just get so excited, I'm having so much fun, I feel so good...I forget to bend my knees!!!!
She told me yes, she felt that was exactly what was happening and it's better to be excited and happy and learn how to keep bending one's knees rather than be unhappy and stressed about it.
Something really does happen inside of my body. I'm like that kid on stage who forgets because they feel so good and end up doing their own thing. One minute I'm in the zone and the next minute I'm in my own zone. Haha.
More importantly, it is great to be with humans who do not beat me up for being me, for being excited, for learning as I learn and all of that.
For instance, there was this Eagles football player named T.O. I don't know anything about him except the negative framework around his inability to be a team player. I was a part of a women's organization for many years. I was deeply loyal, dedicated and a very excitable member. Ideas would literally shoot out of my head because I was that inspired to contribute. I was passionate and very self-expressed wanting to share my ideas. But I was told by the woman who led that organization that I was like T.O. Not a team player.
I lost some of my excitement, some of my passion and some of my sense of belonging and my desire to be a part of that organization that day some place deep inside. But I remained loyal to the essence of the org because the essence truly helped women.
I think a part of being a good leader is intuitive noticing in terms of the energy behind what's showing up.
It wasn't that I was T.O. It was that I was excited, inspired and wanted to contribute because I was excited and inspired. Had I been handled accurately from that subtle place, that would have been true leadership to me.
A few months ago I was in a conversation with a dear friend. He kept interrupting me but I could hear and feel he was just so very excited about sharing. He was just passionate about what he was saying. On his own he apologized for interrupting me and I acknowledged it felt like he was just excited.
He said "YES! That is exactly it!" and inside of this conversation he was set free from someone being angry at him for his excitement.
Lyrical: having an artistically beautiful or expressive quality.
Life as being artistically beautiful; having an expressive quality.
I really love that.
There is no end to what Hula is teaching me. I'm very grateful