Keeping in mind, and according to Dr Miller, the last stage of our lives can last a very long time.
As I write this, my mother is taking care of my father after his very first chemotherapy treatment. He felt good after, until he didn't. Through the process, they are learning. Their focus is on how to make the next round of chemotherapy a little less hard.
Friday, when I received the Stage 3 message, I began to to a lot of research. Because prior to that moment, these last few months it was all super early diagnosis, curable. Totally not a big deal. Now, the game has changed.
My father was told he has 18 months and could live up to 5 years.
Stage 3 non-small cell Lung cancer. Which is the lesser of the evils as far as lung cancer goes. This is the one that non-smokers usually end up with and everyone is shocked because everyone is uneducated in thinking this isn't possible just because they don't smoke.
Also this is one of the many illness's U.S Marine's (or any military branch for that matter) who were stationed in the Vietnam War-there was agent orange there too.
As I write this, my mother is taking care of my father after his very first chemotherapy treatment. He felt good after, until he didn't. Through the process, they are learning. Their focus is on how to make the next round of chemotherapy a little less hard.
Friday, when I received the Stage 3 message, I began to to a lot of research. Because prior to that moment, these last few months it was all super early diagnosis, curable. Totally not a big deal. Now, the game has changed.
My father was told he has 18 months and could live up to 5 years.
Stage 3 non-small cell Lung cancer. Which is the lesser of the evils as far as lung cancer goes. This is the one that non-smokers usually end up with and everyone is shocked because everyone is uneducated in thinking this isn't possible just because they don't smoke.
Also this is one of the many illness's U.S Marine's (or any military branch for that matter) who were stationed in the Vietnam War-there was agent orange there too.
Agent Orange is an herbicide and defoliant chemical. It is widely known for its use by the U.S. military as part of its herbicidal warfare program, Operation Ranch Hand,[1] during the Vietnam War from 1961 to 1971.[2] It was a mixture of equal parts of two herbicides, 2,4,5-T and 2,4-D. In addition to its damaging environmental effects, the chemical has caused major health problems for many individuals who were exposed.
Up to 4 million people in Vietnam were exposed to the defoliant, with around 1 million now suffering serious health issues. The chemical is capable of damaging genes, resulting in deformities among offspring of exposed victims. The U.S. government has documented higher cases of leukemia, Hodgkin's lymphoma, as well as other various kinds of cancer in exposed veterans. Agent Orange also caused enormous environmental damage in Vietnam.
Up to 4 million people in Vietnam were exposed to the defoliant, with around 1 million now suffering serious health issues. The chemical is capable of damaging genes, resulting in deformities among offspring of exposed victims. The U.S. government has documented higher cases of leukemia, Hodgkin's lymphoma, as well as other various kinds of cancer in exposed veterans. Agent Orange also caused enormous environmental damage in Vietnam.
In this new development in my own life...for the very first time... Here is all I have to say to anyone:
When a person tells you that someone they love deeply has Stage 3 cancer, "I'm sorry to hear that," is the only appropriate response. Or at least with me at this time anyway.
When a person tells you that someone they love deeply has Stage 3 cancer, "I'm sorry to hear that," is the only appropriate response. Or at least with me at this time anyway.
as I try to wrap my mind around my father being given a specific amount of time to live.
Oldest of his four siblings. Uncle to many nieces and nephews, friend to many.
My son's grandfather...
My son's grandfather...
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The man my mother has loved and been in love with since she was 15 years old.
and...there is the part where...this is my Dad.
So, "I'm sorry to hear that." is sort of the only thing I am willing and able to tolerate at this time of processing. I'm sharing this because maybe there is another family who is in the same situation and they don't have the courage to speak up. Or maybe that's just me. So I'm just saying what is true for me.
What I AM Very open to...is healing consciousness's and holistic recipes and other things that will enhance and promote the possibility of giving my Dad the opportunity to be one of the people on the higher end of the deal. 5 years would be good. 10 years would be amazing and anything lower than that would just be accepted as every moment is precious because it is truly a gift to have this kind of notification. Many people don't get time.
What I AM Very open to...is healing consciousness's and holistic recipes and other things that will enhance and promote the possibility of giving my Dad the opportunity to be one of the people on the higher end of the deal. 5 years would be good. 10 years would be amazing and anything lower than that would just be accepted as every moment is precious because it is truly a gift to have this kind of notification. Many people don't get time.
This has been going on since my camping day trip on March 7th and it's all been very early, no big deal. Curable. I was sitting next to a young woman who said "My grandfather had that and he's been alive over 10 years now. As soon as his treatment was over, he juiced and he's still here."
what I heard was juicing and more time. I liked her story a lot.
We have kept this a family secret to honor my father's way of being and because, it wasn't where it is now.
My parents are so sweet in their love for one another. As all of this is going on, my mother feels so bad for my father's reaction to the chemo and my father feels so bad that my mother has to experience this with him, or that he is keeping her up at night as he has his experiences. Together, in their love they are just one big ball of empathy...loving each other through.
what I heard was juicing and more time. I liked her story a lot.
We have kept this a family secret to honor my father's way of being and because, it wasn't where it is now.
My parents are so sweet in their love for one another. As all of this is going on, my mother feels so bad for my father's reaction to the chemo and my father feels so bad that my mother has to experience this with him, or that he is keeping her up at night as he has his experiences. Together, in their love they are just one big ball of empathy...loving each other through.
Here is the GOAL:
It is their wish, that all of this radiation and chemotherapy be behind them by the time they take the cruise they are taking in August. That cruise is something they are doing with my father's siblings. This is what they want to live into...so healing is what the focus needs to be.
As soon as the Dr saw the scan and heard my parents desire, my Dad had all the tests done and started chemotherapy right away.
They want to spend their 51st wedding anniversary on a cruise ship with my Dad's siblings and spouses.
And I want, what they want. I want to live in their goal with them.
As soon as the Dr saw the scan and heard my parents desire, my Dad had all the tests done and started chemotherapy right away.
They want to spend their 51st wedding anniversary on a cruise ship with my Dad's siblings and spouses.
And I want, what they want. I want to live in their goal with them.
For those who LOVE my Parents and my DAD:
Right now, they are busy wanting to make each other's moments more soft, more comfortable and more loving. And my Dad, he's primarily private. He doesn't like people making a big fuss over him. However, he is growing in the realization that my mother needs people around her who can hold and support her too. All either one of them can think of at this moment in time is...this moment in time and each other.
And as a side note: if you want to do me a solid, you can just skip over the fact that you read it here or learned this news from me or my blog.
(I ask my family members to do the same, now is NOT the time to rat me out to a man who is in the middle of chemo-it's only funny in every other situation, just not this one.)
And as a side note: if you want to do me a solid, you can just skip over the fact that you read it here or learned this news from me or my blog.
(I ask my family members to do the same, now is NOT the time to rat me out to a man who is in the middle of chemo-it's only funny in every other situation, just not this one.)
#1 Thing you can do:
Is lean into their vision too.
See them on their cruise, loving each other and my father having the opportunity to enjoy his siblings and his in-laws with the type of memories that make life worth it.
See them on their cruise, loving each other and my father having the opportunity to enjoy his siblings and his in-laws with the type of memories that make life worth it.
#2 Think Healing
Whatever happens and when...please think healing thoughts, light, love, laughter and warmth. I am aware the word cancer brings up a lot of pain for a lot of people and I try to always stay in healing thoughts because I believe they make a difference.
What really matters at the end of life:
What really matters at the end of life:
Again, the end of someone's life can take over 5 years or more or less. That isn't the point.
In talking to my mother, I shared the message of this video with her and as I was saying "This made me feel...." she completed my sentence for me "Peaceful"
In talking to my mother, I shared the message of this video with her and as I was saying "This made me feel...." she completed my sentence for me "Peaceful"
In feeling into everything my mother was telling me and the moments that became thick for her or me- she is really committed to all things that bring peace to her, to my dad, and to their home at this time.
Writing her an email is better than phone calls at this time. This way she can respond when it works for her physiology and it doesn't disturb my Dad's healing process of sleeping.
Of course you can do whatever comes naturally with your individual relationship with my parents. But I am hoping that you can see the value of all I am sharing.
Just ask her what she wants...needs...
Writing her an email is better than phone calls at this time. This way she can respond when it works for her physiology and it doesn't disturb my Dad's healing process of sleeping.
Of course you can do whatever comes naturally with your individual relationship with my parents. But I am hoping that you can see the value of all I am sharing.
Just ask her what she wants...needs...
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