It’s day 25 of living in Waikiki, Honolulu Hawaii and this weekend, as much as I wanted to take that class down at the mall to learn the history of lei making…I just couldn’t leave my apartment to do anything except take a walk and get some groceries. And I’m becoming deeply connected with listening to what I need, regardless of what that looks like.
I needed to work. I created this massive campaign and enrolling a lot of women and I did that while I’m still getting trained on my new software. That’s a lot! The pressure is most definitely on!
Saturday night I was up all night, working. I’m still adjusting to the time zone difference, nothing major, mostly a noticing….
And now that I’m settled in, yet tired…. a fun little trigger appeared today and I must say I’m so glad that’s over.
30 days ago my stepdaughter informed me her dad got rid of Buddy Roo (our Rooster) I don't know what that actually means. I didn't ask. She was hitting me with so many updates regarding her father, his choices, his new love interest and we were at my brother’s wedding (which was a blast) I really couldn’t give how I felt about it too much space in my head then, there was so much going on.
Those Facebook "memory" pictures fascinate me. To be triggered by a memory, surprised me, but there he was today, sweet Buddy Roo. The Best Rooster ever...It’s tempting to turn that memory thing to OFF. But I'm deeply committed to my own freedom and if something is coming up for me I want it to disappear for good.
After I saw that image, I went straight into my meditation.
It's like I was observing the swiftness of my emotions moving up the tone scale. I was tired (apathy) I woke up from a round (which is the next level with TM-you do gentle yoga-meditate and then lay down to rest for 10 minutes. Often those 10 minutes feels like a full night’s sleep (it's pretty awesome)
Today though, when I got done resting I started to cry (sadness)
Then I felt angry...
Apathy, sadness, anger-anger.
The anger came in when I had the thought, “now how are the girls being protected without their Buddy Roo?" Shortly after that though, I just kept moving up the tone scale.
I think out of all of the scientology technology that I studied, it’s the tone scale that I find most valuable and it’s very similar to David Hawkins “Above and below 200” theory. Yet it’s much more in depth. It’s brilliant actually.
In Michael Bernard Beckwith’s book “LifeVisioning” he says “The slogan of a restless mind is, “Don’t just sit there, do something! The slogan of a tranquil mind is, “Don’t just do something, sit there!” I really love that. I can see a certain “hearing” this would sound like a promotion to remain in apathy. Yet, a person who practices any type of meditation would totally get it.
And today, by listening to my need, by just “sitting there,” I was able to swiftly release something that I didn’t even realize I was carrying.
As I said, I’m glad that’s over….
Ah, being a whole person….