Two movies about two very different women in their transitional phases. Older gals coming of age movies. I loved them both. I love the concept of "coming of age" including what happens after the decisions are made. What happens after the children have grown. What happens after the husband dies. What happens after divorce. What happens...after the "happily ever after."
No matter how you spin it, there is always going to be a new coming of age no matter what age
Each woman unique to herself.
In Hello, My Name is Doris, Doris made the choice to forgo love, marriage and children to care take her mother. A deal she and her brother made years before. It touches on the psychology of hoarding but mostly it's Doris trying to recreate her life after love and loss. The loss of her mother was not just the loss of her mother. She lost her life companion, that's what her mother was, to her.
In The Meddler, for Marnie she's trying to find her purpose after the death of her husband as she and her daughter grieve the loss in different ways. Being a wife and mother was her purpose, she had to redefine her purpose.
Transitioning through love and loss-That IS a part of life.
Doris is quirky, strange and completely lovable. Her world is internal full of fantasy, attachment and sentiment.
Marnie is generous natured, nurturing and also lovable. Her world is external full of the need to be needed, to contribute to others
They are both fabulous as they transition through their extravert and introvert natures.
The scientific metaphor provided by chaos theory allows us to describe the psyche in terms congruent with physical reality as presently understood. It provides a comprehensive metaphor for uniting physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual realities. This is strongly reminiscent of the Hermetic axiom, "As Above, So Below." It provides a bridge for unfolding "heaven on earth," a means of manifesting and grounding spiritual energy, that is not only creative but healing.
“‘Tis true without lying, certain and most true. That which is below is like that which is above and that which is above is like that which is below.” – Isaac Newton
As Above, So Below: A means of manifesting and grounding spiritual energy...
To bring mindfulness to that...shifts can happen.
In the movie "Hello, My Name is Doris," Doris's sister-in-law had zero compassion for Doris, no empathy regarding the loss of Doris's mother and negative zero compassion with her being a hoarder. She didn't understand the complexity of a Hoarder's psyche. She was grossed out and just wanted the money from selling the house-she claimed is "all of ours." which was really hard to watch. In fact, this woman's lack of reverence irritated me greatly.
Yet in her lack of being a quality human, she became one of the important catalyst that brought Doris to her next breakdown, which helped her release a level of grief that was stuck inside of her. POP...there it was...on the surface... out to be seen, expressed and therefore; healed at it's next level.
In this moment, when the brother saw his sister in a complete meltdown, he finally had the sense to ask his wife to step outside as he handled something privately with his own sister. Prior to that, he was essentially a knuckle head who also irritated me greatly. As did their rude children. But that's a me thing. I have a very low tolerance for parents who allow their children to be rude to their elders. There are so many things wrong with that to me on so many levels...I wouldn't even know where to begin....
The Unfolding....Every person helped in the Unfolding....
In both movies, there is a moment each woman has where the layer of grief she's been trying to hide (From herself) that will no longer be ignored or denied.
This happens through the unfolding, in it's own time, in it's own way -through the connection and experiences these women have with others along the way.
While these things are seen as cliché, there are actual elements of the chaotic order and unfolding of the human psyche.
A person can live in perfect order and do the right things in accordance with their values, their upbringing or their belief system and our spouse (and ourselves) we are all still going to leave this earth. Our mothers and fathers are still going to leave this earth. There is no human on the planet who escapes this experience of the unfoldment of love and loss in this way. No matter how many degrees are hanging on our wall, or how perfect we think we are, or how fancy we articulate in the world...the bottom line is..it's going to happen. How prepared for this reality are we? What will we do? How will we feel? How will our healing unfold? It depends, doesn't it?
There was something about that dress that made me feel like a million dollars. I'm talking about a cheap 10 dollar dress you could probably find now at the dollar or more store.
I loved it because of what I felt in my heart at the time. It meant something to me. I walked a little taller, added a choker around my neck and put on some very high heels. I was just a grieving mother on vacation but that night, I felt truly beautiful and there were several tourists who asked if I would get in a picture with their grown sons. "You're the most beautiful woman in this room." I heard over and over again. I was most certainly not, not by a long shot. What I was...was joyful from the inside out and all because I loved that dress so very much.
Then there came a day where I didn't want to see another Angel in my home. Ever. It was just how things unfolded for me....
Meghan Trainor's song. "Like I'm Gonna Lose You."I know I've said it before but I'm going to say it again because...it doesn't matter to me if it's our parents, children, spouses, partners, friends or anyone else.... If we live right next door or 5000 miles away.... we get what we get when it's time for us to get it. Through the unfolding....
Just a whisper of smoke
You could lose everything
The truth is you never know
In my heart.....I believe I want to see nothing but goodness but how would I feel so good if there wasn't any bad to defeat going on? ? I don't know
She was an important catalyst toward Doris's next level....
- a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change.
If we want to see it that way...
So, that was my Friday Movie Night Experience
People tell me a lot "It's JUST a movie"
But I wouldn't enjoy watching movies if I had that attitude going in...
If I'm going to spend my time watching, I'm going to be into it fully
Otherwise, what is the point?
Now back to sleep...I'm almost all better :)