Broadly Speaking: From a Simple Perspective
created and recreated with various words/colors/shapes/sizes…) are all structured differently from different technologies, philosophies, etc….
One thing remains slightly consistent. That’s anger being at the ridge, the tipping point
that leads to the higher states of consciousness/physiology/whatever works for you…
However, when it comes to humans it’s tricky and dependent upon many factors. Factors involved...levels and layers.
This is why non profits like Soroptimist (A global volunteer organization working to improve the lives of women and girls through programs leading to social and economic empowerment) are so important and brilliant. Their scholarship programs help women move out of “survival mode.” A mother who doesn’t have to worry about how she’s going to feed her children…her mind works better. She can study and absorb and retain the information she’s studying to better her and her children’s lives. That in itself can bring her from the red/orange into the yellowish green. Onward and Upward she goes…..
It’s the bullseye. She isn’t sad, fearful, guilt stricken or angry because she’s “just that way,” she’s actually dealing with what it means to worry about putting food on the table. She doesn’t need therapy, she needs support and a bridge to get her from one place to the next.
This is why non profits like F.A.C.E Fathers and Children’s Equality (Fathers' and Children's Equality, Inc. (FACE) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, all volunteer, educational organization and support and self-help group for noncustodial parents and their families. We are not lawyers or psychologists. We educate the public regarding our areas of interest pertaining to families. At the highly stressful time of transformation of their family structure, we educate our members as to their rights and responsibilities as parents, help them effectively represent themselves in court, and show them how to manage their own cases, regardless of whether or not they choose to use a lawyer. )
It's the Bullseye...Onward and Upward a father goes when he has support and is connected to his own children in some capacity.
It's been my experience in working with humans at deeper levels and layers.... that truth, the actual entire context or container that holds truth comes out in layers. It is a rare person who has the capacity to share the full scope of their reality. This has been very true within stepfamily landscapes. If you hear from one house and don't go into both houses, it is highly likely you are missing a lot of context aka the actual: Bullseye.
More Intimately Speaking...My reality...
It's that sharers remorse thing. "I can't believe I just told you that." and that "I have never said that to anyone before" thing combined with "I can't believe you aren't judging me" thing. That makes people feel very vulnerable. Waiting...for the judgement to come..Meanwhile... for me, it's a very rare day...anything new is being delivered into my ear drums.
Sometimes, my non over reaction causes a great deal of confusion. Particularly when the story being told has gathered a lot of sympathy. This creates a "why isn't she giving me the sympathy she should be giving me?" There isn't any missing compassion or empathy, I'm just not in a state of shock. There are actually all kinds of people walking the earth who have a story just like yours or has felt as shamed or guilty about the same exact things you feel shamed or guilty of. I have actually been on this intense digging deep track for a very long time. I am not just starting out here.
I love this quote from the book Born to Run...
“All I do know is as we age the weight of our unsorted baggage becomes heavier . . . much heavier. With each passing year, the price of our refusal to do that sorting rises higher and higher.”
― Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run
Everyone has something. I have yet to meet a perfect human being. Although I have met some very wholesome people who live in the west, and the midwest who are a little more wholesome so they come with what is for them this big confession. Something they don't talk about, something that's completely out of their character. It's a little more dangerous to share their big confession. When I hear it. I am present to how hard that is for them and I think, "That's it?" That's the big one for you? That's all you have? My goodness, that is super sweet.
One person copes by becoming extremely successful while another person copes by living at the level of hopelessness. Another person copes by binging, as another overeats. Someone can take up drugs and another person who is experiencing the same exact internal horror show likes to go shopping but that's okay because, who doesn't like...shopping? And by the way, that's really good news for the economy. And this doesn't change just because of social media....
One is just more obvious than the other. Or one is just more accepted than the other socially.
It's just that the hopeless person believes and looks upon the seemingly (by social standards) successful person as having it better than they do.
It's so weird, how human everyone is and how far people will go to not seem human. However, it's also equally weird that we need people to be in a bad space when we are. Otherwise, they lack something... Don't be sad, don't be happy, don't be angry and don't be blissful...
If you are blissful you don't live in the "real world" and if you are sad, you are a victim and if you are in touch with your anger. Dear god..please no. So much pressure!
Right now, at this very moment in time, I am being activated to take a stand for Gun Control. Meanwhile, people are posting their fancy dinners and good times and many other things. I see that as wonderful. There are new babies, funnies, some of my favorite people are all gathered in prayer as they dance and sing and are happy.
And I experience what's being activated in me as...what's being activated in me. It feels deeply right to my core and that is important to me, as me.
I still woke up early, still did my mediation, had 55 laughs with other people, worked throughout the day. Mediated again. Enjoyed the farmers market. Cooked this incredible vegan meal which has become this farmers market Saturday ritual for me. That also feels like a moving mediation because I feel so good being in my own kitchen listening to OM Alohas sound tracks on sound cloud. Did yoga. Twice. Downloaded a "Be Bold" business program from a female business owner through a man I know and trust because he helps women rise as he loves, adored and cherished his wife and is a genuine fella. Read her document, which is super sharp and thorough (reminding me of one of my favorite mentors) and I'm super excited about being bold..
However, if you look at my social media focus today, it appears all I was doing is focusing on Gun Control. I really appreciated one woman's comment. "Thank you for being passionate about this topic"
I'm like YES. Thank you so much for hearing me as passionate rather than trying to bend my passion into this negativity. I appreciate it very much.
But there was also a person who commented something about Hitler. Taking the topic some place else. I appreciated that too because it sent me into deeper research and I was able to share my research which took it right back to...Gun Control and NOW. That was cool and all worked out beautifully as far as I'm concerned. Some other posts that I wrote on...I decided to utilise the "turn off notifications" option that we all have access to. If I saw something that I felt would have brought me into anger state -I didn't waste my time there. Notification OFF.
Strangers On-Line listed under the category of "Friends"
Consider the fullness of my own day above. All the good that wasn't shared socially. There was a lot of joy in my day.
We "assume," things...often. It's that human thing....
Saturday Night: Tone Scale: In the BLUE..... I love that feeling....
I spent this evening (Saturday night) on one of my Love Affair with Myself Dates. As I've mentioned, I've been craving solitude. Staying in my own space, making myself a nice meal from the farmers market... reading my Love Journal that I've been writing in since May 2015.
This could be from Ken Page but I don't really know, or remember, it was May of 2015..
My Love Journal Says "When people learn to tell the microscopic truth, their growth is greatly enhanced. In this context, the microscopic truth refers to the deepest and most subtle truth you can see and feel. The microscopic truth is never external. It always refers to truth inside yourself."
I love this passage.
And this one
"One of our greatest life tasks is actually to learn to bear joy, and to let it influence our phycology in deeper and deeper ways. In actuality, there is a great cultural discomfort with joy. Joy frightens us, it makes our defenses quake. It almost invites a superstitious fear of "The other shoe dropping."
I believe that is Ken Page's quotes.
I had this great palm reading. It was forensic level stuff. She said... that I am the loveliest, kindest person and the only thing that can make me turn is someone impinging on my freedom to be, feel or think for myself. I found this to be true. You can not come to the playground with me and expect me to not hold my own shape. I am like that. For sure.
She also said I had this incredible lazar like focus. In other words, when I put my attention on something I am deeply focused. This seems true too.
In addition to this, my brain works very fast and the challenge for me is to take what is inside of my brain and create content and context that works for people so they understand what I'm saying. That I need to give more details. Break it up into digestible pieces. That's actually hard for me sometimes, something I often have to be mindful about and sometimes it feels like too much...too much....
Yet as I read my Love Journal...I'm like...this woman is so loving, so forgiving, so hysterical. I mean, I really crack myself up. Best book I've read in a long time :)
So that's it for now, Just me...being me.