You-as a couple
Creating your core values as a family
The very foundation of all of my work is and has been....Mending Fences while Building bridges.
You take what needs to be healed from the past and do the work so that you may be present in your now, Therefore; you are free to build the future you want through the process of leaning into the truth that is there and working with it instead of having it work you.
This is full bodied and sustainable. It's an empowered context. It's a container that has the power to hold all parts with dignity and respect through the emotional evolutionary process of a little thing called: In reverent time.
Self love isn't just some fufu new age concept. It's actually a science and it's an individual science because what one woman needs to do to get her physiology humming isn't what another woman needs to do.
The process has to work for each individual based on who they are, where they are in their own development as a human.
Most of the time, I'm coming from the reverent full stand of asking another human being what they want, rather than assuming I know anything about who they are or what is true for them.
This includes my private life. Not just the families that I work with or my other clients either.
To be deeply connected to our yes and our no's is very important. That's what makes us truly trustworthy.
Show up, lean in, be full bodied in your honesty in reverent ways, bring your own humanity with you. Recognize, your past, your pain, your problems can not be used as an excuse to avoid intimacy and most people with a higher level of consciousness will hold you for a little while until they know for sure, you are not welcoming them into your life with open arms.
There's no Crying in Baseball...
Nothing Happens inside of Maybe
If someone comes into our lives with their maybe (one foot in and one foot out) nothing happens. Maybe people don't take action in connection because they allow maybe's into their world. They don't recognize a maybe is actually one of four things
1. It's their no, they are not interested
2. It's their fear, they are avoiding intimacy because they are very interested.
3. They are trying on other options
4. They are trying to be respectful of your time.
In all four realms, all any human has to do...is say their truth. This is respectful and gives the other person the opportunity to decide if they want to be a part of that or not.
The first thing "I'm just not that into you," is and always should be an immediate turn off for the other person. There is never a legitimate reason to be interested in someone who is not interested in you. The only response to that is "Thank you for your integrity"
The second thing: I can relate to this one personally because I have that sometimes 5th grade mentality wash over me and my short week of hormones historically have made me feel like it is best for me to avoid intimacy but that's really me trying to protect others from me and it's really only for a few days. In this way, I'm thrilled to have humans in my life who experience my hormonal stuff as "no big deal." I always think I'm meaner than I am. But I have noticed, those who have truly accepted themselves, are able to lean in and listen to another person rather than being focused on themselves all the time... those who are full, they really do experience me and my hormones in a way where they are like "that's it?" Connection. Leaning in. Learning about someone. Showing up. Reverent listening. Looking for what is right about someone. Feeling into that. Holding that and them in that space.
It's that whole thing
The third thing, trying on other options. Well that's no big deal but that needs to be clearly articulated with no mixed messages.
The fourth thing, respectful of your time, maybe you are busy. That depends if there are other indicators, habits or ways of being in the space between two people....
Ultimately though, in all four spots, communication is key. You have to show up. Maybe's do not show up because they are a maybe. Life is happening NOW!
For me personally....I need to be utterly welcomed and....say what you mean, mean what you say and there is no confusion.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for showing up and letting me know! I LOVE that level of honesty. So very much!!!
Thank you, truly.
This entire time I've been trying to encourage and promote...the simplicity of just trusting desire and allowing natural desire to flow and be the guiding light and I have felt pressure to move within what felt like a box of limitations to me. This is why I need to stay off those dating websites.
I had to laugh because when I heard that...I thought "I wish so much that I was a lesbian" because I have this theory that a woman would hear me as I intend....the first time and if not the first time, maybe the third time..... but that may also just be an illusion on my part.
And there it is...once again...a woman is told she is "too much." And she is told that.....after there are a ton of mixed messages and inconsistencies on the other person's end.
She is told that when she is trying to say.....
I don't subscribe to starvation mentality and here is why.....
She's not saying you are the one. She's just saying here's why....
I don't do maybe's and here is why....
She is told that when....this whole time she's been thinking...let's just lean in and see what is truly there instead of all this other stuff.....
It's just all.....so Ironic.