One of my gal friends once told me..in her partnership-when she was pre-menstral, was when her not-so-happy feelings would spill out toward her guy and then she would feel so terrible.
His response was:
"That's okay baby, it's your truth syrum, let that truth out!"
When she told me this, my jaw dropped and I responded, "Wow, that is so very hot and I think if a guy said that to me..I would be so turned on!"
So today I say these words to myself, "That's okay baby, it's your truth syrum, let that truth out!"
Normally, I do provide the people closest to me with what I consider a common curtesy. I call it a curtesy because I'm aware I'm a little off. A little more emotional and a lot less tolerant unless, I am left alone. Being alone and having time to meditate, sleep well, exercise and eat right while alone seems to be key until I can adjust to the shifting hormones. Give me room to just be and I will work through it so very quickly and end up being uber cuddly. And I, like you want to feel close. So I'm going to do what it takes to get back to that.
The feminine knows how to empathize, she knows how to not take it personally.
The masculine, it depends
There are women who do not believe in pms because they swear they don't experience it. Some don't and I believe them. Yet, when you're close to a woman who swears PMS doesn't exist, then every third Wednesday she's lashing out at everyone around her and a week later she tells you she has her period...you know what you know. It's not even necessary to point her PMS out, you just flow with her every third Wednesday because she's your friend.
The problems only come when someone doesn't listen to my needs, doesn't give me the space to quickly manage this. That's when curtesy turns into a warning. Go past the curtesy and the warning and I'm sorry, I've done my best, you're on your own.
In addition to this, when the next day arrives-it's over for me. I'm not going to want to spend all of my time talking about my behavior or something I may have said that you didn't appreciate and I am absolutely not going to be remotely interested in coaching or how I could have done better. Because in my mind-it's as simple as...the solution is-let me be.
Yet tonight, I didn't give a curtesy or a warning. My truth syrum leaked out anyway. And I realized... I only give this curtesy to people who are closest to me, people I share a level of intimacy with. Even though it's all been very mature, respectful and we are like polite roommates-there is no real intimacy.
In the last 4 days since we decided to end it (or have our relationship change form)
It has been this cool flow. Handling the practical easily. Working out the items that need to be worked out from selling the beach house. Providing information on how to take care of the chickens while I'm away this weekend. Smooth.
My momentary "truth syrum" seemed to happen after everything on my to-do list today was complete. My Thursday evening clients were the last on the list and I've been working with them for so many years now, they are very dear to me and I am dear to them. There is a lot of affinity. I brought them farm fresh eggs and I walked out with a recipe that has been in their family for years. A very special apple cake recipe. Hugs were exchanged before I left.
When I came back home-the difference between spending my time with people where the affinity vibrates so high vs coming home to this weirdness triggered me.
My schedule is also clear now for tomorrow's adventure to attend this weekends African Grief Ritual.
Perhaps I'm starting to grieve and "that's okay baby, it's your truth syrum...let your truth come OUT!!