Yet...I have these.
Why? Just why? You know..that happens sometimes...and I had to laugh when I saw the above "You shall not pass." With just a little tweaking my mindset was "you will not want to pass..." and once again...I was wrong. I love when I am wrong!!!
As a general overall concept: healthy is way more important to me than sexy. That's just my preference...
DID YOU KNOW:
"Cotton wicks moisture away from the skin, discouraging yeast growth, so choose cotton panties as often as possible," Jan Sheehan wrote for Everyday Health in an article reviewed by Dr. Lindsey Marcellin, M.D., M.P.H. Try to avoid other synthetic materials like nylon and lycra, which can "trap moisture and heat, providing a breeding ground for yeast." If anything, try to at least wear underwear that has a cotton lining on the inside.
The speed in which I put them on, notice they are a little "Urkel" ish and it's time for them to disappear vs the speed in which I actually take action to have them disappear, there is a 10 loads of laundry/week discrepancy. .
Groundhog Day: The Movie: (In essence...)
In the movie: A weatherman finds himself inexplicably living the same day over and over again.
He is given opportunity after opportunity to get the day "right".
Not "The Rock" as in the actor but I call him "The Rock" for many reasons
Let me just say.... I was like this......
But he was like this......
but I was still like this......
I'm letting these thoughts take me away from the bliss I could be experiencing right now. WHAT IS GOING ON
Normally, I would just laugh it off or share...but I didn't. I was stuck and trapped! LOL
And he's still very much in the space of......
Eventually...I melted and I became this:
Sexually speaking, nothing happened. He had only stopped by to say hello and within that small time frame I really got to see....ME.
Standing before me is this beautiful man stopping by my place to exchange oxytocin with-which I actually want, like and desire and I'm all..."preoccupied."
I'm like "Christina Marie-what has happened to you? where are you? Get it together Woman!"
When I decided to drop the nonsensical....the swirling picked up...the Aloha began to move freely (as it is meant to move,) It's that natural rhythm that doesn't seem to be so much personal - as much as -it seems to just want to move. In the end, the oxytocin was released and the next minute- he was gone.
Sheewww. I almost missed it!
Get it together Woman!"
You bet I did!!!
What I LOVE about my experience with this man is:
There isn't any force, no upset, zero anger or even frustration. He just stays in his own body and in this case...he just waited until I could get back into my body and by not making a big deal out of anything....I was able to do my own work, snap out...get with it...quickly. I'm talking 10 minutes!!!!
Very often it is me who is full and in my fullness I become the mirror for someone else and they have the tremendous opportunity to meet me or not. We all have a choice in each of our moments.
Sometimes we all need a little reminder in moments when we forget. Sometimes, it's my turn and I'm so happy to have people in my life who allow me to have....my turn. Where there is room for me, where I am welcome..as is, as I am in each moment without any pressure to be "perfect," all the time!
Reverence and gratitude flow out of me...I love the people who walk into my world...
It also seems true.. if a person has the ability to not take my preoccupied state personally...I am able to return to my own body very quickly. In this way, his way of being was such a gift to me.
I remember a similar thing happening in a different form (Content vs Form) when I first arrived here and a man took my phone out of my hand to hug and kiss me. While I'm not recommending this per say because there is subtext to that context....in that moment he was brilliant.
There was no violence, no force, no verbal complaint, no child like pouting to get me to pay attention to him. There was no weird and twisty need to look to see what had my attention, no accusations or any of that nonsense.
There was just a removal of the phone that was in my hand and I think his power in that moment lived in the fullness of his desire to give to me. There is something about a man who comes at me when he is full or when he wants to give...I turn into butter.... Smart men...there are a lot of really smart men out there. (In my opinion)
Recently with another fella-he was amazingly awesome. In the moments when he could sense me pulling away, drifting off, backing up - he would say "Stay with me baby" and he would do that in such a way where I'd come right back into the space between us. Gosh, another brilliant fella. Oh, how much I LOVED that!!!!!! In fact, in those moments, I felt sensation moving through my body in the form of my left leg tingling. "Oh, you sure do have my attention!"
These are all gifts to me that I appreciate so much.
Now I haven't seen the man who came over the other day (Urkel Situation) in several months. Our connection is all very flow....I've been busy or he's been busy. It's kind of wild that he seems to magically appear just when I need to get something - I can only get through the space that exists between me and another human being. He is truly a gift to me and I am so grateful.
Beyond the humor and meaninglessness of the Urkel situation, inside of me existed the residue of a little thing called: disheartenment.
Recently in a connection I experienced that lovely ache that comes when you go deep with a person and it gets cut off like a light switch.
What I am learning about myself (and not just through men but also in friendships) is: There is a difference between connections that float away freely... coming in and out with reverence and kindness vs the intention to cut someone out of your life.
While both choices are completely valid-One is not hard for me at all, there is no "ouch," there is just a sensation that everything is as it is supposed to be. The other intentional cut off...sometimes it takes me a minute, sometimes it takes a little longer when I experience some form of Disheartenment. For me it feels like that is a perfectly healthy response to have. It's a part of living in my opinion. At least authentic living (just my opinion) When something is organic, beautiful and life enhancing and then it's cut off...to me, it's a natural response to feel something around that...but then the question becomes:
What to do when Disheartenment HITS?
Hula is the best thing ever for me. As is TM, walking, flower hunting, connecting with my friends, laughter, writing and more. I have set my life up to feel like I'm winning. I have rituals and things I am dedicated to every day that keep me feeling like I am winning the game of my own life. This includes allowing things like disheartenment to move through me. This includes being mindful of where I am in my hormonal cycle. This is something I like to be mindful about because it does exist for me. I find focusing on self-care to be very valuable. This morning I woke up feeling a slight energy depletion. I could sense my body needed B-12, so that's what I did. I'm currently working on eating more protein as my body is telling me I haven't been eating enough protein. At some point I needed a little extra rest, so that's what I did. These are all the things that help me move through things like disheartenment. Rather than avoid living to the fullest and experiencing the richness life has to offer.
"Is that a jock strap?"
"Oh, that looks very uncomfortable"
It may look good to some, but many of us women are like "OY...no thanks, I'm not into it"
How funny. You know, in this world...laughter and a sense of humor is one of the best medicines