This weeks direction from Momi (Hula teacher): Practice in front of a mirror and look at myself while I'm practicing. Prompted by my need to look up at the ceiling as I'm moving in class.
It's amazing, who I am when I trust someone's teaching/direction. How I will go above and beyond and perhaps a little further....
Requests of Friends...
Kainoa has been watching my progress for over a year because, he lives across the hall from me and he's a Merry Monarch hula dancer and that means...... he knows the language, songs, basics and all the in's and out's of Hula.
With him, I can talk hula and he understands my desire, goals and what I'm trying to accomplish skill wise.
Although, these past few months he's been in the thick of practice himself. Then after Merrie Monarch was complete, when he returned from the Big Island, he needed a break from all things hula -so I wasn't allowed to speak anything Hula. Which was harder than I thought it would be..but he only had to remind me one time....
Now he's back and he's got the sharpest eyes and knowing, he's very encouraging, yet honest and he can also see my progress.
He was so happy to see the difference in my dance from the time before he started Merrie Monarch intense training to now. That also happened on Mother's day at the ranch. One of the women I only see once a month and sometimes less, she was really impressed with my improvement too. And that feels good because these are the people who are seeing me learn as I go....
There are other locals/friends too...who may not dance -but they know how they feel when a good dancer dances.
It's this distinction I'm wanting to embody as a hula dancer.
One of my other friends feedback was that he could feel I was thinking about what I was doing rather than fully in my dance and that was a bullseye.
That's exactly what I was doing. And that's the type of feedback I need. Honest feedback so I can improve.
Even though we just learned the completion of the third verse a few hours before that moment-it is something I do, not just when I'm learning but when I am in front of people too. It's frustrating and when I try not to do it, I forget the choreography and I'm not even sure which is worse for me to experience.....
What this means to me is that I have to go -deeper into the song/lyrics/meaning.
There are a few songs I do know so well that I am able to float but it seems like no one ever plays those live darn it. At some point, this will shift because I will be more deeply connected to more song and have them under my hula belt.
Purging #1. This weird and twisty thing I do when I dance hula in front of people.
Declutter the Hidden Stuff in my Space
Purging #2. My personal space. All that hidden unnecessary stuff.
Purging #3 More hidden things.....
This past week, the workout shorts I wear and love the most have been falling down. So all three of those shorts were tossed.
In the past, I would just keep them because they were my favorites and if something is my favorite, I hold onto it sometimes a little too long. I have that tendency. I noticed I had zero resistance in just tossing them. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but for me, that was awesome.
Purging #4. That concludes the stuff in my space.
Clear Out Your Clutter, get rid of everything you do not love in your house. Clutter clearing is a time-and-energy-consuming process that will feel like therapy, but it will help you "lighten up the load," so to speak. Do not skip this step, as it is an essential one in creating harmonious house feng shui energy.
Have Good Quality Air and Good Quality Light in your house. These two elements are essential for good feng shui energy (called Chi) in your home. Open the windows often, introduce feng shui air-purifying plants or use an air purifier. Allow as much natural light as possible into your home, and consider using full-spectrum lights.
Always Be Mindful of the Energy in Your Home and how its energy influences your well-being. Make a habit of paying close attention to the so-called feng shui "trinity" that is deeply connected to your health - your bedroom, your bathroom and your kitchen. Nothing is static in the world of energy, so be wise and keep your home healthy and happy.
I wake up Monday morning.....
To an email from: Sisterhood Global, the theme is: FREE THE VOICE
I Speak My Authentic Truth.
And in my sleepy state, I was like this:
Purging in connections with non-listening men
According to By Robert Leahy, Ph.D.
"some of the reasons," men don't listen to women.
- It’s a Power Struggle. Some men view intimate relationships as a win-lose game. If the woman is venting her feelings, then she is winning and the man is losing. As a result these men may try to dominate and control the woman, telling her that she is illogical, out of control or just a pain to deal with. One man says, “You want us to be doormats."
- Macho Thinking A number of men comment that to validate or to use emotional language to support the woman is unmanly. “You are trying to make us into wusses,” a number of men say. They believe that the role of the man is to be strong, above it, domineering. Validating and allowing emotional ventilation is for feminized men, men who have lost their dignity as “real men.” The women may think that some of the macho confidence is appealing, until it leads them to feel that the only emotion they can get from him is his anger.
- Emotional Dysregulation
Some men find it so upsetting, so emotionally arousing to listen to their partners that they feel they have to ventilate their anger or withdraw. In fact, this is supported by the research that shows that their pulse-rates escalate during conflict and they find this unbearable. As a result of their own escalating emotion — which they can’t tolerate — they either try to get her to shut up — or they leave the room. She feels controlled, marginalized and abandoned.
- Not Wanting to Reinforce Whining
This is another reason that men give for not supporting or encouraging expression. They believe that validating and making time and space for their partner’s expression will reinforce complaining which, in turn, will go on indefinitely. So they want to stop it immediately by using sarcasm, control or stonewalling. She feels that he won’t let her talk, that he is cold, aloof, hostile. So she goes somewhere else to get that support — another woman friend — or another man
- Demand for Rationality Some men believe that their partner should always be rational and that irrationality cannot be tolerated. Their response to their partner’s apparent irrationality is to point out every error in her thinking, dismiss her, become sarcastic or withdraw. This demand for rationality or “the facts” might sound “mature” but I have yet to hear someone say that they have a great sex life because they have the facts on their side. Communication is often more about soothing, grooming, connecting — less about simply giving you the information and being logical.
I haven't heard back and I may not and that's perfectly perfect.
It's a fine line sometimes with man creatures. If a man hasn't been able to listen in the first place and then you turn up the communication volume...well that can be...this whole thing...(men/women/whatever)
Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough. For men, it's the fear of not being wealthy enough, tough enough, or smart enough. The number one shame trigger for men is being perceived as weak. Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak. But if you can't be vulnerable, then you can't truly grow and be your best self. Women can either embrace and help men walk across the tightrope, or we can be the ones who push them off.
Dr. Brene Brown