Earlier today, another incredible woman (I was fortunate enough to meet while she and her family were here in Honolulu..) sent me a post from a younger woman who is now 20, as she shared snapshots of what she was taught...about herself, about her own gender and about men too.
Mia Morgan, I REFUSE! A rant on how my female identity has been shaped by excuses and lies
I'm going to quote some of her writing here because millennials get such bad press these days, but really there are so many incredible younger humans who are forging a path, changing their stars by asking "Why?"
She touches on something that we work on in my 8-Weeks-To-Peace Program for women in stepfamilies. We go pretty deep in those 8 weeks. It's built on three pillars: Self-Love, Open-Heart and Reverent Communication. In this program we address the truth at the level it exists and we uncover and rewrite the well meaning lessons our mothers and grandmothers left us with that may not be so helpful to our reality now. We do this, not in blame or upset...we do this with reverence and the depth of understanding that the women who came before us had it differently and they were just doing what they were taught or any number of things. In the program, we hold a space for our mothers and grandmothers-reverently. We look at the messages they sent us and we decide. We say "thank you, I love you, I understand-this was your truth and now, I'm going to remove this belief and create something else. I'm going to do that with love and respect for your intention to protect me.
She touches on......the incredible Sonia Jackson Myles's work that the "Sister Accord" address's. Which is a revolution of love-to love and help each other rise as women on the planet.
She touches on the incredible healing work within Unify Global Sisterhood...an organization committed to using our capacity to love and heal the world.
She touches on my friend Rosanne Russell Santos and her "Fight Club For Women"
I could go on...I should go on, but if I went on the list of all the women I know who are leaders in having, being and creating something that helps women RISE UP and away from "excuses and lies," It would literally take me all day.
Without any further ado....
Here's just a snip-it of young Mia Morgan's "I REFUSE! A rant on how my female identity has been shaped by excuses and lies:
"When I was 9, I got in a fight with my best friend. I went home and complained about it to my grandma, who lived with us. She told me I should have seen it coming. “That’s how girls are.”, she said. “A friendship between girls is always also a competition. Girls are jealous, manipulative and backstabbing. You can’t trust them.” But I had never fought with my best friend before and I knew we’d forgive and forget the next day, anyway. So, I asked my grandma why, and her answer was: “It’s just how it is. Catfights will happen. It’s normal. That’s how girls are.”
And here's her last paragraph:
“It” is that context, is a never ending circle of resigning acceptance of the circumstance that girls are being raised to disrespect their own gender from their childhood on. I was, and am, expected to accept the fact that being female automatically makes me inferior, and that I should be thankful for being treated equally, because that’s not the standard. I was, and am, expected to appreciate and take it as a compliment when people tell me that I’m not like other women. Because I was, and am, expected to look down on women even though I am a woman myself. But I refuse. I refuse to adapt, obey and swallow. I refuse to accept that “it’s just how it is”. I refuse to take this as an answer, and I will not stop asking why. I won’t ever stop asking why. Not because I want people to give me a proper response, but because I want them to question themselves, too. I want them to start wondering. Want them to start doubting the concept of the role I’ve learned to stick to before I knew how to spell my “typically female” name. I want them to think about it, lose their sleep about it, until they ask, too: “Why?”
In order to eliminate misogynic stereotypes, we must unlearn to understand them. We must refuse to accept “It’s just how it is” as an answer, until we forget what “it” stands for. Keep asking why, until nobody knows an answer anymore. “It’s just how it is” is not an answer. Neither is “It’s cause you’re a girl”. Or “That’s how girls are”. Because girls can be everything and anything they want to be. That’s how it really is.
*Her entire "RANT" can be found on the facebook community called: The Artidote (which is a community that has a 5 Star rating)
I posted something about women, and he came in trying to teach me something. Now, it's really not a good idea to come in and try to teach me anything about being a woman-unless you are a woman. I'm like that. Oh man, am I ever like that!!! I tried to say "You may need to be a woman to get this." and all that did was offend him and have him come at me with the following response "Are we reducing this to the Vagina now?"
Oh. My. GAWD.... I Was like.....
So, that was when we learned...our differences. Sometimes, that's how it goes...
At some point when I wanted to share and get clean...then I got hit with a very interesting devaluing-mock spiritual thing that spiritual people tend to do... "I'm sorry you are so wounded"
Oh man...here we go again.....
I'M FOR THAT!!!!!
Love is just love and Pain is just pain and people are all equal. Of course I Love all of that...no question
For me.. the expanded context includes reverence for something you've never been. It's great for any human to be in touch with their feminine Yin energy. I love all that too.
And let's stay there... I don't think it was because he was a man and I am a woman that the "I'm sorry you are wounded" came out. I think it was just what egos do. Men and women in spiritual communities...we do that to each other. We act like "It's YOU" "NOT ME"
In his mind, I "kicked him," just by saying "I think you need to be a woman to get this" That wasn't me kicking him. At least that wasn't my intent. What was more true for me was, there was a collection of women who are living inside of female bodies..all sharing, all having "ah ha" moments for themselves based on where they were in their developments. That was the missing for me. People are where they are in their developments. There was no empathy, compassion or anything that allowed room for honoring where these women were. It was just straight to...."we are one, there is no truth to this issue."
I think you need to be a woman to get this... and I stand by that. And we are all one....
ah, the co-existence...
And I can tell you this, what he did was leave me with nothing more than "I'm sorry you are so wounded" completely minimizing and missing my point. He could not hear me as me.
In other words, "That was 100% you, Christina"
I am perfect, you are not and that is all.
These things happen...I brought this into my meditation.
"I'm sorry you are so wounded" (and YOU kicked ME)
That's where it was left...I'm the victim of your being wounded. Vs...Now we both know where we stand on the topic of gender...
There is a difference and that actually does have nothing to do with gender. In my opinion
Speaking of Masculine/Feminine Energy... This video...
These are just some of the responses from these men trying to help heal the collective, taking a pledge and stand...and here's just some of the responses they received:
You faggots will never get laid with this fake, pandering bullshit. Shut the fuck up and go hire a hooker, because none of you ugly fucks will get any pussy without paying for it. This is the gayest, most disingenuous bullshit I've ever seen. Do you really think that kissing women's asses like the pathetic drooling losers that you are, will get you a sympathy fuck? Because it won't. Women are cringing at this you fucking man-pussies.
i don't like this i feel uncomfortable i'm going to close the tab now
wouldn't let any of these pussies to touch me.... good grief
I turned lesbian after seeing this video and I'm not even a woman
I think i have like 9 mental ilnesses now thankss
You guys are pieces of shit! I don't care if this is satire, you're all pieces of shit.
Haha! These guys are twats.
Then again...women seeing and hearing that...oh, the possibility of that sweeping over a woman and landing softly in her wounded soul....she could feel healed by that...
IN all things....we never know how something is going to land on anyone. That's one of the most fascinating things about living in the world we live in.
Never trust anything that bleeds and doesn't die...that one is pretty thick vs thin....
That's just my opinion