She wears a cross around her neck.
Yes the hair is from a little boy,
And the cross from someone she has not met, well, not yet
I vividly remember after Donovan died I'd play this song over and over again alone in my apartment as those lyrics above would wash over me so deeply. Sometimes I would be on my workout bench lifting weights singing this song and I would be balling my eyes out. I'd play it again and again, keep lifting and keep balling my eyes out until I was absolutely exhausted.
"Yes, the hair is from a little boy" While I didn't have a lock of Donovan's hair in my pocket, I did have a lock of his hair and I think I didn't want to let the sadness go. I think I thought if I let the sadness go, I was somehow letting him go and I wanted to feel him. If feeling him meant I was going to be sad...I would just spend time being sad.
I just listened to this song all these years later and I felt zero sadness. In fact, I'm like...hmm. I feel absolutely no attachment what-so-ever to this song. I do like the image and I do remember feeling like that image in the video...but all that sadness I had put into this song...is now completely gone.
Yet I remember this moment on the Oprah show...the mother in this video below...what an incredlbe life changing moment for this mother. I remember watching this live and thinking "Gosh, I wish I had 18 years of memories I could hold in my heart" but I also felt this mother's loss was greater, much greater than my own. Donovan's death was a natural soft one full of love...there is beauty in that. Nothing could be done. Whereas this was truly horrible....yet...grief is grief...it gets stuck...that invisible cord..
Although I feel free, there are humans who are not free at this time....
Good-bad-bitter-sweet-dark-light-summer-winter. Experience all the dualities. Don't be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more mature you become