He wanted to know why he couldn't spend the night at my place.
I told him I already have someone staying in my place (And I meant me)
The very moment I said that, he took off and went on his way.
A harmless person who just had too much of... whatever he had too much of. Yet even that was a bit of a manipulation. Because when my no was clear, he took off in such a way, his altered state didn't seem to be all that altered. These things do amuse me very deeply. I'm telling you, this whole meditation thing has just taken my sense of humor to a level- that I don't even understand.
Clear no's from inside to the outside with no mixed messages what-so-ever....and many men...they just move on. However, if he had more than just a manipulative energy...I would have been a no to him sitting next to me.
This is why I believe women need their intuitive tentacles to be treated as one of their most highest form of intelligence. Everyone thinks it's all about the relationship a little girl has with her father and while that is for sure very important. I wish more fathers would spend more time teaching their little girls to honor their own intuitive centers just as equally as they do all other things.
A woman who trusts her own intuition...is very powerful in many ways.
In popular psycology, a flying monkey is someone who does the narcissist’s bidding to inflict additional torment to the narcissist's victim.
It might consists of spying on the victim, spreading gossip, threatening, painting the narcissist as the victim and their target as the perpetrator.
Despite this, the narcissist does not hesitate to make flying monkeys their scapegoats when and if needed.
The narcissist might send siblings as flying monkeys to badger the adult child back.
Yet that is not what women mean when they say or post that. It is totally NOT what they are saying. What they are saying is: I am not afraid to be all of myself and that includes my ability to take a stand for myself, express my anger or any other thing I need to do to be sure I'm being treated with the same respect I have for you and myself too.
Flying Monkey's AKA Self-Defense
"Now would be a good time for me to mention, I do have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and I really could kick your ass if I wanted to."
He had no doubt, returned to being respectful and backed away instantly. We resumed being able to have a conversation.
When it comes to men who lead with their hunger rather than leading with my sense of safe space...I have no problem being both kind and very very clear. "Just thought you might like to know....I could kick your ass if I really really wanted to." My tone was no different than it would have been if I had been saying "Just thought you might like to know...it's raining outside."
Hungry men don't scare me all that much or nearly as much as the guy who pretends to respect women as a gender as a form of manipulation, where he is hiding his darkness far below the surface.
Speaking of Hungry Men....
Inside of the swirling....
There is reverence for the lecture, no resistance what-so-ever. A part of that is very much, their hearts are not with me. They are not committed to me as a person in their life and it's often easier to be open with someone whom you don't have a history with or care that much about.
I'm often told, there is something about my voice, something about the way I say what I say. Something about how I am saying - what I am saying that seems to resonate within. Yet, it al feels like, that's what they decided rather than it having much to do with me. I think that may be based on where they are within their growth path vs me.
Because a lot of lessons.... we are learning as we move through life and a lot of these men have experienced a lot of challenges with women. Female problems....
They are not bad men so much as no one has really ever taken the time to teach them the benefit or the value of "she comes first."
This one I shall endearingly, most affectionally and for sure very playfully call him:
I'm talking about how a Hippopotamus, although he lives in the water, he exists on the shallow end. Doesn't go too deep because a hippopotamus is actually not that good of a swimmer even though...he lives in the water most of the time (Isn't that interesting)
In addition to this, behind their wide smile and seemingly easy going nature... lives an underlining aggressiveness.
You know...it's that Hungry Hungry Hippo.....who remembers that game? Or the words that come with the commercial....
"If you want to win the game....you got to take good aim...Hungry Hungry Hippo is the name of the game...and whoever gets the most marbles...WINS!"
Interestingly....Just take a look at this new and improved commercial...and don't forget to wait for the last few seconds...with the now young adults playing....it's wild how it's nailing my point so clearly.....
Dana represents the woman who meets, connects and perhaps loves the hungry hippo.... The truth is.....No, at some point...it is no fun for Dana because the Hippo is the only one being fed....and there she is..feeding the hippo as she herself needs to be fed...
In this way, the experience that he thought he was going to have vs the experience that he actually had....I have to give him a lot of credit because he handled it and me like a Reverence for the feminine Ninja.
The long and the short of it is this: Get your shit together. Make her pleasure more important than yours. Through that...you will see the value of how her pleasure really IS your pleasure...Learn.... that sort of thing.
Her being..women in general or whoever the woman is that is in his heart because there is usually a woman in a man's heart....if they are together or not isn't really relevant if he's clueless...
Well I do my best to understand dear
But you still mystify and I want to know why
I pick myself up off the ground
To have you knock me back down again and again
And when I ask you to explain, you say
You've gotta be cruel to be kind, in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Besides, what's more cruel?
A life where connections are limited, chaotic, confusing and non fulfilling BECAUSE someone is all about their own pleasure (what they can get)
Someone taking the time to let them know..there is a much easier- much more fulfilling way to be and it will serve and fill him up too. There is no shortages of fulfillment in pleasing a woman so fully..she sees you as King. If that's what you want...do the work man.. Do the work...
It's all very Abbott and Costello...with a twist being: "who comes first"...but the essence is very similar....
Abbott: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third--
Costello: You know the fellows' names?
Costello: Well, then who's playing first?
Costello: I mean the fellow's name on first base.
I think one of the reasons they are more open to what I have to say is because...I don't shame the desire or the hunger. As I don't shame my own desire or my own hunger either...
The hippopotamus and I have had exchanges for months. Just hello and base line conversations as we happen to walk past each other.... If we were walking on the same side of the street, short conversations...zero flirting. One day, he just decided...he wanted an experience with me. When that happens, there is usually something else going on that has nothing to do .....with me.
"I never met anyone quite like you"
"Well. YOU aught to get out more"
(I actually say this all the time!)
Who doesn't want that? I'm just saying....