I came across this video in the 30 days of Intent with Deepak Chopra
We began our 10 day, 2x's a day challenge and it was a hot mess at first. There was an aggressive energy and thought system that I was supposed to bend to his comfort. And there it was....I was supposed to be understanding, I was supposed to bend to him, I was supposed to be supportive, loving and more. There was that in our marriage. A sense of his entitlement to me being all of those things as he was however he wanted to be. Not all the time, but most of the time. This energy was brought into our nest (A nest is the place where OM practice takes place) But, there was something about me laying on the floor in such a vulnerable position. My clarity was crystal clear. Thank you, no, I do not want you to touch me. This does not feel good. I got up and got dressed and walked out of the room. There was no anger, no upset in me. There was a purity about it.
Within minutes he found me, apologized and asked me to come back into the room. So we tried again and he was spectacular.
That was the thing about my husband. When he wanted to be spectacular - he was truly divine.
I felt satisfied. Probably for the first time in a long time. I felt connected. I couldn't remember the last time I felt connected to him. I felt seen. I couldn't remember the last time he saw me or if he ever really saw me. There was an empathy exchange. It felt like we were moving in the right direction for the first time in our marriage. I've always been about the depth of connection. To me, that is the glue. The only real purpose of marriage really. I began to open up to him.
I taught the art of exotic dancing to hundreds of women. Up until that point, I would not share my dance with him. I felt he wouldn't be able to hold that space or get the gift it would be, therefore my desire to give him that gift was not there. It just wasn't. And he actually understood that. He understood that about me and about himself.
The art of exotic dancing has never been (for me) about men or turning a man on. It's always been about a woman filling up on the whole human being that she already is. This was why bachelorette parties or birthday parties held less of a desire inside of me. Don't get me wrong, those were super fun. But my intent, my motivation was always the depth of a woman reclaiming her sensuality. The goddess within. It was about connecting within.
Then one day after our 10 day challenge -I danced for my husband and his response was absolutely perfect. Okay, I didn't really get to finish my dance. But...to me..that was the perfect response.
The world was our oyster, or at least it could have been. We had so much to be grateful for but it felt like there was extreme lack of seeing life in that way. We had a lot of time and space to create adult married fun. I had always wanted that. I had always wanted that to lead. Security isn't my thing. The depth of connection is very much my thing. This thing developed in our marriage. He was always waiting for me to take security seriously and I was always waiting for him to be interested in the depth of connection. For me, it doesn't require a ton of time to create that. It just requires a desire to have that. He had a lot of "this is how it is, everyone knows that." This mentality would crash into my knowing that it doesn't have to be that way, that we were free to create whatever we want ourselves. That is was our marriage, no one else's. We could create anything we wanted.
We spent thousands of dollars and tried various coaches, programs and many other methods to "fix our marriage" to fix things that really were not broken. To fix areas where acceptance would have been the softest most workable answer. To fix the areas where LOVE would have been much more powerful. I am like a flower. I shine and grow under the warmth of love. Because I am a flower I can not shine and grow without love. I wilt, gain weight, become depressed and act out.
Orgasmic meditation hit something that had the power to generate transformation through empathy and connection. That was what we needed on our marriage. Not more rules and regulations or another human coming in to dictate how our marriage "should" be.
My marriage did not end because of stepfamily issues. I adored my stepdaughter and I adored her mother. My marriage ended because of a lack of desire, a lack of acceptance and other things. OM had the power to generate everything that was missing. On our individual selves and inside of our marriage. A 2 for 1 special just 15 minutes a day....
This had the power to lift my depression and the power to lift him out of him with what was true for him. Those two things lifted...was all that was needed.
But you know us humans....we so crazy...
I would recommend this practice to anyone.
Now, I am a single woman...it's a whole new world