Disturbing Underlining Messages
Is this Leadership? Or is this bullying?
What is wrong with this picture? This is not representing what it means to have leadership skills. Leaders do not and should not be hitting little boys with sticks to prove their leaders. The body language of these two young children is a disturbing reflection of opposite, same thing.
Parents do this all the time. If a little person didn't want to be at the "kids table" and that person grows up to be a parent, they go to other people's houses that have kids tables (which is really fun most of the time and to be honest, I am almost 50 and I would rather be at the kids table because kids know how to have some fun!)
This parent will bully the entire system at someone's house, demanding their child be equal by sitting at the adult table without ever realizing, their child is longing to be sitting with the other children to just have fun.
These are the kinds of things we end up doing to try and heal our childhoods but that does not heal our childhoods. It's extreme in it's nature because it is unconscious. If you don't see the longing in your child's eye to be at the kids table...there is a missing.
Does our Culture even teach people about consent?
A recipe for DISCONNECTION
I see this in families. I see this in clients. I see this in culture and I see this in my own life. Disconnect here, disconnect there- disconnect everywhere.
How is anyone ever going to actually heal with all of that disconnect? The very thing that heals us is connection and while this is justifiable in this world. Why are we picking on Cinderella and using her purity and symbolism as a way to crush both men and women who actually want love. If love heals -is that sometimes or all the time?
The story line is-a man and a woman who felt the same exact way. The story line IS: the only reason she had to go is because she had a terrible mother. I love how we skip over the truth as it actually exists. Prince Charming was not the problem. Her mother and sisters and family culture where some were treated better than others through biological ties and jealousy IS where the evil exists in Cinderella. Its far more accurate to zoom in on what the problem actually was than to side track us all "as if" we don't all know -if Cinderella was supported by a woman who loved her deeply. A mother who cared enough about her to actually care enough about her -to not treat her like she was less than, she would not have had to leave the ball. And if she didn't have to leave the ball, she would not have done so. She and prince charming may have in fact, stayed up all night talking about all the things that two people falling in love talk about.
I remember when my stepdaughter was 5. We were watching a version of Cinderella. She was coloring at the time and I was very still. To be someone's stepmom and see this nastiness playing out on the T.V. Screen. It is a thing. She turned to me and said "I wish she had a stepmother like you because you're so good to me"
This happened again a few years down the road and what she was feeling and connected to was the relationship Cinderella had with her stepmother. Again, this brought her into the connection she had with me. She put her arms around me and once again thanked me.
Later on down the road still...she began to become offended by everyone's assumption that stepmothers are wicked to their stepdaughters.
Now we currently live in a world where there are 100 million stepfamilies in America alone. I wish people would move their eyes downward and get their ears into reverent listening mode to discover what the truth is in the now for the actual child rather than project their wounds and anger into little impressionable minds on a cellular level.
This all starts at home behind the four walls that hold these children
Home to broad. Home.
We can no longer afford to conveniently skip over what women are doing to one another and act like its men. It's not men. It's all of us.
These are just my not so humble thoughts.