I'm under some kind of Ka Makani Ka'ili Aloha spell at this time-in all of the spaces in between, after dedicated time to it. I could have just stayed home and practiced into the night except I was invited out on a date to try:
I was so excited, that is not unusual though. I was told, I'm fun to take just about anywhere LOL Every dish that came out "That looks beautiful" everything that I tasted, I'm like Mike "She likes it." (You may need to be older to get that joke.
Anyway, it was very nice to be out in an adventure with someone who appreciates my energy and understands, that's just how I am (most of the time)
Then I came home and The Ka Makani Ka'ili Aloha spell took over again. I was dancing until almost midnight and decided it might be a good idea to practice every song....at least once before I call it a night....
Then I did my morning rituals.
I was fully intending to stay within my moon lodge (lady stuff) with a side bar of transferring my bed to a different futon option. That first full day, sometimes I experience a foggy brain and with me being under the hula song spell, I really had nothing in my brain except hula and I have all kinds of things in my brain.
Don't you know:
McDreamy/McSteamy/Not so Scary/Scary Dog texts me in the am to see if I feel like seeing a movie with him in the afternoon. I did not see that coming.
Of all days, the one day a month my brain gets foggy when I'm sharing space with anyone. That's really not optimal for a connection that's been loaded up with miscommunications, misunderstandings and left in that space yet it's not harmful either. I'm just a little less outwardly excited but not by all that much LOL I think you have to really know me to experience the difference.
The opportunity to restore something that was left in a place that didn't allow room for anything to be known or clear...felt like a gift to me. I don't even care what the connection is about at this point, I just care that there was a spiritual generosity to connect, an opportunity and an invitation to do something as simple as see a movie. That feels way better to me. That also makes me feel like my gut instinct about him as a person was correct. I felt his goodness. I felt it with Elizabeth, Mark, Michelle...My friends at home. Lenna, Sandra, Tim...and others...There is an innate goodness about people and when I say "I like you," that is what I am talking about. When I experience, feel the innate goodness in a person, that really isn't something that just floats away via miscommunications. If it floats away it's something else...most likely superficial.
Michelle, Mark and my landlord all took care of the bed exchange. All I did was help carry out before I left and helped carry in the minute I returned. They really helped me a lot. I am so grateful. My friends mean so much to me. Not just because they help me because I am very stubborn about asking for help. Not because I don't know how to receive but because I do not want to be a burden to anyone. Mark happens to have the perfect truck for the job and my landlord happened to have a surf injury. Anyway. It all worked out thanks to my friends.
back to McDreamy/McSteamy Not so scary/scary dog. (She calls him these things endearingly and to preserve his privacy)
Our connection left at: Just friends
Cool, cool and cool.
I'm in, I'm game and I'm a yes, even with my foggy brain.
He was very easy to be with and easy on the eyes for sure. He's just this likable person-in person. He's beautiful in a way where... I can't help but sense.... there are no real shortages in this mans world, particularly with women.
Classically tall, dark and handsome with these enormous brown eyes. He was so lovely and gentlemanly. I was able to relax and be foggy in my brain. Sometimes I need that. It was nice to just do something normal, simple and easy going. Chill and not have to be the one in charge. I loved not being in charge. He handled everything. That felt good. Please, yes, lead me....I lead all day, every day, in every area of my existence.
I also loved the recliners except because I was so zen. I was "this close" to drifting off to sleep for a second there. I felt like I wanted to lean in and land my head on his shoulder but that isn't what one does once one has been placed in the friendship zone, is it?
I felt my head inching closer and I kept bringing it back to center as my belly felt full just from it being "that day." hormonal.
Next thing I know his arm ended up across my lap, unexpectedly... I felt that dull tingling down my left leg. It was there, I could feel it a little teeny bit.
Before when the connection was moving very naturally (for me anyway)...the sensation was wild, bright and pulsating with such clarity and juicy aliveness, it felt amazing.
As his hand landed on my lap at the movies- it was more of a slight buzzing, letting me know it still exists but it was not wild, bright or pulsating with that juicy aliveness. I could sense....all he would have to do to re-activate that whole wild, bright, pulsating part of things...would be to clearly communicate or really just touch me in a way that lets me know he's a yes man. I'm very glad he didn't do that because I'm so not dating right now. I'm hula, work, writing and hiding from humanity at this time. I'm also trying to cultivate my ability to handle things like culture shock.
He just happens to be grandfathered in because we've already connected and I do like him, otherwise I would have been a no to the movies.
Wild, bright and pulsating works for me. Just because I'm not dating does not mean I'm even remotely interested in celibacy. Let us not forget:
Steady orgasms could help you live longer.
Howard S. Friedman, PhD, and author of “The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life,” decided to look into research conducted on couples. He cited a marital satisfaction study conducted by Stanford psychologist Lewis Terman in 1941, looking at the sex lives of 1,500 Californian couples. Terman recorded the frequency of orgasms these women had. Twenty years later, Friedman and his colleagues studied the death certificates of each of the women in Terman’s study. What they discovered was that the women who reported a frequency of orgasm during intercourse tended to live longer than those who reported being less sexually fulfilled.
I'm still me, always. And I don't want someone else to starve themselves either. Do your thing, keep yourself healthy. Care about your longevity. Adulthood, safety, maturity, honesty. I am not looking to hold someone hostage from being fully alive and vibrant. I have no commitments with anyone. There is no legitimate reason for any starvation... that's just silly.