That's a part of the wild and surprising wisdom in the Australian documentary Black, White and Sex.
This was something that resonated deeply with me. Therefore, I began to use it in my research with women even though it's really a reflection of the man.
(If you're going to watch that documentary leave room for the awkwardness of how it begins to shift into wisdom and brilliance with a surprising story line at the end)
Since seeing that documentary I have been sharing that scene or the concept with every woman I know (and I know a lot of women) and all the couples I meet here, when a man walks away and there is time for girl talk -I will speak about dry/wet.
Here is how that goes (but only 100% of the time)
When a woman shares her love story, she usually also shares a little about the man who came before the man she's committed to now. When I frame that with women who have left one type of man that left them dry (and often depleted) and they are now with wet men who keep them humming...they usually share their prior lover, partner or husband as "a dry man" and with a smile movin across their face "My man is definitely a wet man" it isn't just about the sex. It runs much deeper than that.
This is also why fathers who have divorce situations should never try to convince or turn their sons against their own mother. Which is the same as mothers not going completely out of their way to ruin the connection a little girl has with her father. It's the same thing in essence. This is baseline. (Rather than the broad reality)
As a side note, when I investigated the technology within Scientology as it relates to the 8 dynamics - sex and children exist in the same dynamic. Not in a creepy way but in a holistic way. If we think about all the women who stop having sex with their husbands because they don't have to do that now because they have children (which is conditioning and many other factors) from my own vantage point and experience with Donovan dying and how my breast produced milk even past the point of his death...and how that experience impacted me as a woman. How I associated that experience with being "less of a woman" in my young mind-(less of a woman being unable to keep something nurtured) the dynamic in Scientology made complete sense to me in deep and profound ways.
Add to that a woman's physiology and what keeps her healthy and humming and also blend it in with how many times I repeatedly hear divorced women burning in resentment that "he," had the audacity to expect marriage and children to be important in equal measure -how dare he. He's sick after all...and their response when I don't share their sentiment even though I am aware many people suffer with the either or, one or the other consciousness.
"My guess is he probably wanted to remain married and emotionally connected to the woman that he loved and a part of that is the pleasure of adult connection in intimacy." That isn't something women want to hear. What they want to hear is "you're right. He's an ass hole who should have been willing to die a little every day on the inside by not having a fulfilling connection with me and he should have loved the children that deeply and been willing to do that"
I wish so much I could support her and agree, however, I can't do that because I've done too much research and I've worked too deeply with humans to be able to not know...our hunger to be seen, known and felt and live with love is a basic human need. We need that at any age.
We all want to be seen, known, felt and have the quality of connection that keeps us happy and healthy and there is a thread of physiological health.
In fact, men are becoming impotent and having prostate issues as early as when they are in their thirties. This is not good news. Unless you're a woman who doesn't actually like men. And many many people who say they love men or they love women-actually have not even begun to see all the ways and all the places they don't. This is also not my problem personally because I'm not a woman in my 30's who loves a man and wants to have children with him. All that stuff is behind me. Yet, it speaks into the conditioning, our culture and how difficult it is to find that balance between what's healthy about ourselves and our sexuality vs what can truly be harmful.
I am for a mindset that everyone takes care of the children. It's just that, having humans who take care of themselves and each other...is a part of that. And if words like "Wet/Dry" makes you uncomfortable how will you, as a parent be able to fully support your child/ren in their growth and development as humans on the planet? What happens instead is they are stuck out there in the world as it is, to fend and learn...the hard way.... so while I would love to keep it..all very "appropriate"....for someone's sensitivities...I can not do that. I'm just too old.
I've been feeling and expressing that "I'm just too old" thing for days now....And what I mean by that is...I do not have the time for what is to me: Nonsensical.
— Rebecca West
Sigmund Freud, that bastard. He really screwed us women in massive ways. I resent how much power this man has had in the human psyche and how deeply engrained it lives within us all today.
I said it before and I will say it again, there should have been a moon woman right by his side to bring him to a higher level of consciousness. A wise woman, a woman who actually knew better because she is a woman. She could have helped us all toward true maturity.
The other day she told me a story about when she was young and in her prime... how she had captured the attention of a man who was crushing on her in deep ways. Once she agreed to go on a date with him, she slept with him right away. That night. After that evening, he disappeared. A few decades went by before he finally shared his truth which was: He was and still is completely smitten with her. However, when she slept with him on the first date, he thought that meant she didn't like him. Not because she slept with him on the first date, but because of who he was as a man and how he lived his life.
If he didn't like a woman all that much, he would sleep with her right away and if he liked a woman a lot, he would back up and wait. So he figured if that was true for him, it must have been true for her too "She doesn't like me all that much."
When she heard this story, she had the opportunity to tell him, it had nothing to do with how much she liked him or didn't like him and everything to do with that's just something she does. She needs to know that. Which is the behavior of a wet woman who knows she is wet and knows what she wants and needs to proceed, rather than a woman who is saying I will have sex with you now because I don't like you.
It wasn't that he wasn't crazy about her because he totally was and still calls her now wanting to connect with her. And isn't that he meant to be a coward. His disappearing was based on his own internal thoughts and living inside thinking everyone does and thinks like he does and thinks. Also though, he really was not taking responsibility for the fact that instead of standing up for what he wanted and saying "I don't want to do this because I really like you." He just made all of these things up in his own head....
When he disappeared, she was done. It's that simple for many of us women.
Honestly, I have had many experiences in my other single life...where I was just living and being and if the attraction was there, cool. Yet many times, a lot of these men did that dance with me. "I want this to mean something" "I want this to be special" "I want to be your man" "I want to be your boyfriend" "I want this to be meaningful"
And it was all very endearing for sure. Yet, in the actual relationships...the truth was...they were dry men who wanted a wet woman.
Dry man do weird things, Weird things like starve their wet woman as they feed themselves. That's no fun...