I'm on this investigative quest myself.
In the 90's, I was a "Bad Feminist" because I had given birth and wanted to stay home with my baby. The vivid memory of the woman who essentially spit out at me "You are HOLDING ALL WOMEN BACK" as my two week old son was sleeping soundly in my arms... I've shared this story before.
Now it's 2018. We are currently existing in the third "Wave," of feminism
The Three Waves of Feminism. While the roots of feminism are buried in ancient Greece, most recognize the movement by the three waves of feminism. The third being the movement in which we are currently residing
The one who forgot to care about a little baby sleeping in a mothers arms. That was more than enough to shut me down and turn me completely off.
In my now, both men and women (mostly strangers) want to tell me all about the full reality that comes with dealing with a woman. The feminine chaotic, the manipulativeness, the sometimes seriously vengeful and often at the expense of the children's sense of self and their relationship with men in their future... as if I am not already keenly aware of the full spectrum, the love and light and the hate and darkness that could exist at various levels, life phases, time periods inside of any woman.
When I was a little girl, my Dad would tell us kids this joke, it went like this:
Siblings were in the tub, one said "Pass me the soap" The other said "What do you think I am, a radio?" It made absolutely no sense but my Dad kept telling us that joke because it made my brother bust out in laughter, which made my Dad bust out in laughter because it made no sense. It was full on nonsensical humor.
So when people on-line come at me with all of their thoughts that I don't know the full spectrum of what it means to be human or what it means to deal with women.... I NOW find myself saying to myself
"What do you think I am, a Radio?"
I do that because on-line communities have been so deeply charged, triggered and activated as this cultural cleansing is going down.."What do you think I am, A Radio?" is so very good for my health and well-being.
My other go to defuser is:
"What do you want me to Do, Dress in Drag and do the Hula?'
I just love that Timon!
THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE
Jesus was loving, kind and firm.
Strong proud men, do not make women suffer to make themselves feel bigger.
That awareness doesn't make me an angry wounded woman. It's mostly common sense if nothing else.
I'm still a "Bad Feminist," because I don't actually feel victorious about certain things. Certain things don't feel like a win to me. Although it is an important win culturally as it also inserts fear in both men and women. It's so complex these days.
What I feel is compassion for all humans involved. Even the perceived bad guy. I could be upset about something but that doesn't even remotely mean I don't understand someone is a whole person.
As an example: I don't like "He who shall not be named" but I don't want anything to happen to him or his family. It didn't feel good to me when the collective went after his daughters business.
That felt yucky to me but I do like it that the NRA is getting snipped here and there on the financial level even though I believe that it's deeper than money.
So what kind of feminist am I?
As it turns out there are terminologies for different types/kinds of feminism. Here are just a few:
KINDS OF FEMINISM
The LIST is long. Here is the link that provides all and the rest of the various levels and layers of Feminism terminologies