And there it is in the moment...an opportunity for me to embody a piece of one of my favorite poems from Oriah Mountain Dreamer:
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
He and I could relate to this because every time I share about Donovan dying I get a wide variety of responses and this is something that happened over 20 years ago...
I get it, empathy is a good thing. Caring is a good thing. I love all of that stuff but sometimes people are existing in their own apathy and other times empaths need to take care of their energy because stories hurt them deeply since they feel other people-deeply. That heaviness though can still be all about how we do not show up for or stay with people who are just sharing....Someone else's grief can easily bring us to ours. That's not a bad thing.
Is it true that people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves? I say yes with the appendage of how some people are truly gifted in light hearted "ness" and they are not all that deep and never will be. Sheltered. Gifted. Blessed.
There is no reason to have these types of conversations with them because they can not connect, relate and/or it doesn't resonate. And although empathy goes a long way -many of those sheltered people are just fun to be around. Yet at some point, the blessed, gifted and sheltered experience life in ways that knocks them off their rocker.
I feel like I was sheltered in many ways and in other ways not at all. I remember in my ignorance I did not think it was possible that OJ Simpson, a father could or would do that. I remember watching and thinking "He is innocent. He has to be innocent cause Dads do not DO that"
This is the level of my sheltering and how teeny tiny my world view was. Or Susan Smith. At that time, I looked over at my toddler and down at my belly and said "there is no way, that is not possible- inconceivable -a mother would never do that. It's just not possible." That one stayed in my soul like mud.
― Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
“In that nanosecond of enlightenment I knew that the human spirit survives the death of the physical body and I understood that my wandering soul needed to get back into its earthly habitat.”
― Janet Bettag
There is deep and then there is heavy, in connections to define the differences as it felt true for me...
Deep allows for intimacy and connection
Heavy just weighs you and everyone around you down.
"Yes, I want Deep and no I don't want heavy" :)
Yes....that's what we all want...
But the caveat is: There is often heaviness to move through in order to get to the depth. Not always and not at all times or in all connections however, I can feel the difference inside of myself when I feel heavy and I am speaking or when I am just speaking in depth. I can literally feel it in my body.
Much, I have learned can be washed away now through TM.
Much of what I am writing about I am writing about without the "heavy" but it's very likely these things land "Heavily" on others....
That's all for today