Women, do not like to be called out when they are minimizing, bashing or trying to silence another woman's voice, gifts or wisdom. Yet, in my mind, it's important that we all hold each other accountable for how we treat another woman who may not be where we are, or think like we think or lives as we live.
The feminine push for power...the desire to shut another woman down by bulldozing her verbally is something that often prompts me to get my red umbrella out. Then what usually happens is, that bulldozing gets turned on me. It's that mean girl crap. "I'm entitled to be a mean girl." They want all the space and can say any negative thing they want to and about another woman's voice, gifts or her wisdom yet they can not handle it when the mirror comes up for their review to look at who they are being in these groups. Mind you, these groups are literally all about building one another UP. That's the only purpose of the groups actually and pretty much the only reason I'm a part of those groups. I really could care less about fitting in or agreeing with the 15 all in agreement women who are blind to what they are doing as much as I care about that one woman's voice who is trying to contribute in a beautiful way to other women who may actually benefit in their physiology by what the woman's voice, gifts or wisdom has to offer. Do not shut her down, please. That's the last thing we need is women shutting other women down just because she isn't living inside of our individual belief system. In groups of 20 to 40k women, there is and will be plenty of women who will benefit from her.
What the woman said vs what they were saying she was saying...well that was as wide as the distance between me and my family right now (at the very least 5000 miles)
So this brilliant, gorgeous, blissful beyond blissful woman posts her own written article. It's a very sweet article and the long and short of was: a woman being true to her own happiness, essence and more. Yet it was also about generating vibrant connections with men. This is something that women poop on. Some of the comments were "Grow up" "this is disgusting" this is "hideous"
Crush, crush and crush some more...
I'm like hold up...what is going on here....this woman is young and excited and if you read her article-it does not go against women in any way shape or form. But what it does do, is say "Let's play," "Let's connect" "Lets co-create as men and women in relationships" and a lot of feminism today likes to block any woman who actually likes men or has the desire to play with them. Or to be with someone to share life with. "Grow up," says that woman who thinks feminism means: CUT OFF a part of your natural desire as a human.
As if being a grown woman doesn't include growing into the type of woman who does not have to chose between being loved and being heard. There is nothing "mature," about hating all men or bashing women who like men and are excited about the very natural biological desire to connect with someone meaningful. (it's not really about men/women as much as it's about any person wanting to experience love in whatever form love comes in) That is allowed in my opinion.
Something is off here. But mostly, these women were downright cruel to this beautiful woman and I don't like that. I never did. Even in grade school and now that I'm an older gal, I like it even less. In grade school I just didn't like beauty being bullied. Now, it runs much deeper for me.
One woman told me "this is not your business" and I had to laugh because how do you share in a group and have that share reach over 20k women and turn around to say "this is not your business"
To me..you are free to feel and think and believe whatever you want and I'm bringing in my red umbrella because..I'm a part of the group too...It's all good.
If that was a private message between two women and I was somehow told about it and I got involved-that would be different. But you can not post super negative words on a platform with over 20k people and then turn around and say "this is not your business" If it's not my business, don't post it, send your thoughts to the woman privately.
The thread is a conversation, we are all having a conversation. We are all sharing, contributing....the conversation itself....was an expanding conversation. You could see different women in different places in what they cared about.
Standing together as women does not mean bully women until they all think like we do in the same way our children are not meant to be our little mini me's....
Lead, help her rise, guide her, contribute to her growth in ways that encourage her to keep using her voice as it's developing or get out of her way. AKA Sisterhood. There were some word choices in the title and in the subject line that could have been tweaked, however the article itself was lovely. Not for everyone but does it have to be? Diversity is one of the foundational elements of sisterhood (In my own crazy mind anyway)
Lately what I am seeing is the angry advocates "for women's equality," are so angry... they can't even see themselves bullying other women who are not angry, yet these non angry women are taking a stand for women in other ways but since it doesn't suit their angry filter, they can't see it, respect it or honor it. The very thought of another woman living in bliss pisses them off. "How dare she" Its that whole "people are suffering and YOU should be enraged," mindset. The mindset of-without being enraged nothing changes. I can relate to this. Remember the story when I had an infant in my arms and the feminist woman bashed me, claiming I was holding all women back by wanting to raise my own child, with no regard that her anger/energy/mindset was disturbing my sleeping child because he was in my arms and she was disturbing me. And on the flip side, I have been totally guilty of being so passionate about something, I can error on the side of bulldozing too-and there were plenty of someone's taking a bigger stand for me by telling me the truth of who I was being. Thank god they did.
Then there are the spiritual bypassing women who blame the angry advocates for contributing to the violence. "Just pray" and when another woman isn't able to "just pray" well then these women get just as angry. They can't see -it's the same thing.
Anger is anger and sometimes anger is justified and/or a part of the path. And while anger may be sensitive for the love/spiritual person, another woman's anger may make them uncomfortable and in that space, the spiritual bypass woman essentially says: "shhh, put your anger back down into your bloodstream-get sick, stay sick-so I don't have to feel uncomfortable."
I can relate to this too and yes, again on both sides. I see myself in all of this because I'm in touch with humanity as it exists, not just how I want it to exist. Besides I need to know what is really going on for women. It helps me in my work
You get to a place in life sometimes where you can see yourself in just about everyone because you have been where they are so you get it.
And you are so shameless in who you are, you don't really try to pretend you haven't been who you've been.
There is an ebb and flow. Sometimes the collective speaks to me because I can feel it and when it does I speak out. But when it impacts my own physiology, it is time for me to be focused on my own energy. At other times I am in such bliss that I can easily appear to be a spiritual bypass person and maybe I am. I won't make myself wrong for that either.
So when I contribute or call another woman out on a group that is supposed to be all about lifting each other up, I do so with a lot of humor. Until one woman is being verbally bullied. That is no different to me than what goes down on the playground. And a woman who is in a sisterhood group cares very much about sisterhood. She should not have to put her big girl panties on to be seen, known and heard by all of us other women. That's a very masculine consciousness and is the very same consciousness we are all so sick over-collectively and globally so why the hell are we doing that to each other?
That gorgeous blessed young woman will continue to grow and shift as her wisdom gets downloaded to expand her voice and gifts with each year she is on the planet. She needs room to grow and that will happen a hell of a lot faster within the frame work of a safe circle of women who allow her room to do so. The last thing we need is another blissful woman turning into a closeted Medusa who has to go into the FUCK YOU category just to be able to be herself.
As Louis Bogan so brilliantly points out, "this association of Medusa with castrating woman is very evident in a passage in Chêne et Chien (1952) by Queneau: 'Severed head, evil woman/ Medusa with her lolling tongue/So it was you who would have castrated me?' However, the myth reveals -- and this seems to be obscured by the Freudian interpretation -- that woman's 'castration' is a result of the violence imposed on her by the original hero. Woman only appears in the story divided by separative decapitation, casting off the feminine in the remote depths of the world. Cast down, the feminine remains unrecognized within its innermost recess and it is this 'abject' void which maintains the theatre of the world and the logic of the talisman. In this theatre, woman occupies the two opposite extremes of evil (castration, sorcery) and their cure (the phallus, the Virgin), i.e. of the abyss and the Ideal. That is why, despite her terrifying power, she is fascinating. 'Fascinum' means 'charm' and 'evil spell', but also 'virile member'. Between the 'emptiness' and the Idol represented by the division of woman, yawns the gulf of male Desire. This persistent ambiguity can be found in the classification of the creature called the medusa. It owes its name to its resemblance to Medusa's head (Apollinaire, Bestiaire, 1920), but is included in the Acephelan category. Medusa keeps her secret behind the ambiguous mask. Although she is 'representable', she is never 'presentable' and even Perseus only sees her reflected in his shield. She is the hidden presence, absent from the world, which enables the scene to be played out. In his 'heroic comedy' Le Naufrage de Méduse (1986), Ristat shows Perseus searching for the Gorgons and meeting Hermes, the 'Guardian of Resemblances', who proves to the terrified hero that 'Medusa herself is only a shadow'.
However, the hero remains trapped in the interplay of images and the logic of the talisman, just as he remains fascinated by the Gorgon mask. Thus Medusa's head becomes, for the man who takes possession of it after severing it from the terrifying woman, and in accordance with the principle of the 'pharmakon', the complete opposite, i.e. the 'skeptron' -- the sun."
This is what makes Maleficent a much more aligned in heart and sisterhood yet supposedly evil role model, which was really just damage done by the greed of a very self absorbed man.
It was the very essence of reverent time developing and growing within the maternal of a woman -who may be wounded but through her heart she makes the choice- not to wound a beautiful, innocent female just because she's been burned by a careless man.
And in the end, the two kingdoms worked in harmony with one another with two women running the show. Yet in the very last scene you see the prince come back into the picture because Queens of kingdoms do not have to chose between running the kingdom or love. They can have both if they really keep their heart open to expanding what it means to be an empowered woman. Love is not something to cut off because we've been wounded.
Now if that's a good story there...come on now!!!! The expanded, empowered context of what is possible for any woman.
Now let us go back to the woman who told this young blissful gorgeous being she needs to "Grow up." That's not how I see it. What I see is the woman who claims the other woman needs to grow up, is the woman who would benefit from continuing to grow herself.
That's the problem with some feminine outdated consciousness... the most natural thing in the world, the desire to share our lives with someone...is seen as a little girls fantasy rather than a natural desire within any human being. To be seen, to be known to be cherished, to be loved, to be felt...There is nothing immature about that... In my opinion.
As this was all going down...many of the angry women were publicly speaking they wanted her article removed from the group and I suspect they got their wish from the administration because that thread no longer exists. And there you have it folks, that is how it's done...
She is the hidden presence, absent from the world, which enables the scene to be played out.
So for me...I'm okay with my calling women out when this goes down. Not because I'm against Medusa, but because I'm for Maleficent.....
I was searching high and low to find this meme I created in 2015 based on asking myself some very clear daily questions prompted by my business mentor. This is so true for me....It just is.
My Belief is full bodied: Sisterhood
This is great news and why most things make me laugh....and because I'm working in the master book of the book series I'm writing and it is totally on this very topic...my stand here is so alive in me. Every day....I'm cool with my contribution within the group and then it's back to laughing for me....
Daily questions are what behavioral economists refer to as a "commitment device." The questions announce our intention to do something and at the risk of private disappointment or at public humiliation. Daily questions commit us to doing it anyway. Daily questions are serious too, if only in how they press us to articulate what we really want to change in our lives, and a part of that is our belief system.
Intrinsic motivation vs Extrinsic motivation, which do you prefer?
I'm one of those women who needs to go inward to find her motivation.
And so...that's my latest rant/ story and I'm sticking to it...I love when these things come into my world because it inspires me to keep being me...it falls into that intrinsic desire with the daily questions I have asked myself...What do I stand for? And what will make me feel most fulfilled... every day... and writing, creating is every day for me.
IN OTHER NEWS
Yeah, I wanted to play tough
Thought I could do all just on my own
But even Superwoman
Sometimes needed Superman's soul