TO START:
I'd like to share with you the "levels of Co-Parenting," from an expanded consciousness-holistic vantage point and how we work with stepfamilies:
The levels of co-parenting in a stepfamily: where a child (or children) go back and forth between two homes.
The invitation: Take what resonates with you, do what you want with it and ignore what is not workable in your reality. You are free, always. It’s your life, your moments, your heart, your family.
Much Love, Christina Marie The Bio-Stepmom Peace Negotiator
Level one: Biological: Mom and Dad
Level two: Biological and Step (Mom and stepdad’s house and Stepmom and Dad’s house)
Level three: the space between level one and two which the children travel.
In this way, all of the adults involved are all responsible for who they are, what they send out and how mindful they are about doing no harm to themselves, each other and the children as the children experience the full reality of their Expanded Family landscape. Aka level one, level two and level three.
Our company, Expanded Consciousness is all about taking what is and moving it where you want it to go. Where divorced parents usually want their children's lives to go is often the same. It's really the "how," to get them there and "who," should (and shouldn't) get them there that takes parents off track as it relates to what they truly want.
Mending fences while building bridges allows room for the fullness of honoring the co-creation of the precious children, as well as the building of the bridge.
I'd like to share with you the "levels of Co-Parenting," from an expanded consciousness-holistic vantage point and how we work with stepfamilies:
The levels of co-parenting in a stepfamily: where a child (or children) go back and forth between two homes.
The invitation: Take what resonates with you, do what you want with it and ignore what is not workable in your reality. You are free, always. It’s your life, your moments, your heart, your family.
Much Love, Christina Marie The Bio-Stepmom Peace Negotiator
Level one: Biological: Mom and Dad
Level two: Biological and Step (Mom and stepdad’s house and Stepmom and Dad’s house)
Level three: the space between level one and two which the children travel.
In this way, all of the adults involved are all responsible for who they are, what they send out and how mindful they are about doing no harm to themselves, each other and the children as the children experience the full reality of their Expanded Family landscape. Aka level one, level two and level three.
Our company, Expanded Consciousness is all about taking what is and moving it where you want it to go. Where divorced parents usually want their children's lives to go is often the same. It's really the "how," to get them there and "who," should (and shouldn't) get them there that takes parents off track as it relates to what they truly want.
Mending fences while building bridges allows room for the fullness of honoring the co-creation of the precious children, as well as the building of the bridge.
LEVEL 1
Level one: Biological: Mom and Dad
The child has the mom the child has.
The child has the dad the child has.
This is baseline acceptance. To be able to work with what is or isn’t true.
Starting point.
This is foundational.
When we accept this.
We can begin to work with the full biological reality that the children have at the level the children have it.
This is very helpful in moving things where we want them to go.
This includes yourself.
You couldn't relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole--like the world, or the person you loved.
Stewart O'Nan, The Odds: A Love Story
The child has the mom the child has.
The child has the dad the child has.
This is baseline acceptance. To be able to work with what is or isn’t true.
Starting point.
This is foundational.
When we accept this.
We can begin to work with the full biological reality that the children have at the level the children have it.
This is very helpful in moving things where we want them to go.
This includes yourself.
You couldn't relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole--like the world, or the person you loved.
Stewart O'Nan, The Odds: A Love Story
LEVEL 2
Level two: Biological and Step (Mom and stepdad’s house and Stepmom and Dad’s house)
Whatever the case may or may not be between homes...(one house marriage other house single) once a stepparent enters the scene-the Expanded stepfamily bridge is being built. If we like it or not, our children are experiencing another human being in their home. In addition to that, this other human being becomes a leader in teaching the child about what It means to be in partnership. This doesn’t have to be a threat to level one co-parenting. It doesn’t make Dad any less Dad and it doesn’t make Mom and less Mom. It just means the vibe in each home and how two people who are with one another jive...is something the children become a part of.
Mending fences while building bridges allows room for the fullness of honoring the co-creation of the precious children, as well as the building of the bridge.
Whatever the case may or may not be between homes...(one house marriage other house single) once a stepparent enters the scene-the Expanded stepfamily bridge is being built. If we like it or not, our children are experiencing another human being in their home. In addition to that, this other human being becomes a leader in teaching the child about what It means to be in partnership. This doesn’t have to be a threat to level one co-parenting. It doesn’t make Dad any less Dad and it doesn’t make Mom and less Mom. It just means the vibe in each home and how two people who are with one another jive...is something the children become a part of.
Mending fences while building bridges allows room for the fullness of honoring the co-creation of the precious children, as well as the building of the bridge.
Here at Expanded Consciousness we’ve been collecting data within a stepfamily communities for over thirty years now from all three levels and all family members perspectives. From infancy to grandparents.
What we recognize is without access to the full stepfamily landscape -we can easily do more harm than good. More damage that continues disconnect rather than truly helping families move into a more harmonious flow in reverent time.
So we had this idea.
What would happen if we Saturated ourselves in both homes as a witness. Not taking anyone’s side which meant we were able to see things more clearly. What would happen if we did that plus observed what goes down during the exchange between homes.
By taking this holistic approach with love and compassion for each stepfamily as individual families,
Mending fences while building bridges appealed the most to our company. How can we help if we haven’t taken the time to experience the fullness each individual stepfamily landscape. We can’t go by our own failures and our own successes because every family is uniquely different.
Our approach allowed us to collect more data to be able to pin point what was truly going on.
What works for one family doesn’t work for another family. Even still, people would need to be willing. Not everyone is willing.
What we recognize is without access to the full stepfamily landscape -we can easily do more harm than good. More damage that continues disconnect rather than truly helping families move into a more harmonious flow in reverent time.
So we had this idea.
What would happen if we Saturated ourselves in both homes as a witness. Not taking anyone’s side which meant we were able to see things more clearly. What would happen if we did that plus observed what goes down during the exchange between homes.
By taking this holistic approach with love and compassion for each stepfamily as individual families,
Mending fences while building bridges appealed the most to our company. How can we help if we haven’t taken the time to experience the fullness each individual stepfamily landscape. We can’t go by our own failures and our own successes because every family is uniquely different.
Our approach allowed us to collect more data to be able to pin point what was truly going on.
What works for one family doesn’t work for another family. Even still, people would need to be willing. Not everyone is willing.
The bio-stepmom compass creator primarily handles level two of the co-parenting levels. However, it also filters softly and adds healing value to level one and level three-as well.
Just as the Peaceful Exchange Program primarily handles Level three co-parenting (the exchange between homes) and that program has massive power to positively impact Level One and Level Two Co-Parenting: In addition to helping adults heal in a way that most of their life energy lives in the present which gives them more power to be in solution oriented in the present.
What Expanded Consciousness does not do is: we do not help you change the other person to be exactly as you need them to be. We would be sorry about that, however-we have seen miracles happen (mostly in reverent time) for families by not trying to change or control anyone else and instead work within ourselves.
Therefore: Mending fences while building bridges ties into
Self love. Open heart. Reverent communication as a process to have the power to take what is and move it where you want it to go.
Self love allows you to open your heart. Being full with an open heart makes it much easier to master the Reverent Communication that will work within your stepfamily based on the people in your stepfamily. The ones that you love. The ones that you don’t love. The ones you get along with and the ones that irritate you so much.
Therefore: Mending fences while building bridges ties into
Self love. Open heart. Reverent communication as a process to have the power to take what is and move it where you want it to go.
Self love allows you to open your heart. Being full with an open heart makes it much easier to master the Reverent Communication that will work within your stepfamily based on the people in your stepfamily. The ones that you love. The ones that you don’t love. The ones you get along with and the ones that irritate you so much.
Level one: Biological: Mom and Dad
Level two: Biological and Step (Mom and stepdad’s house and Stepmom and Dad’s house)
Level three: the space between level one and two which the children travel.
In this way, all of the adults involved are all responsible for who they are, what they send out and how mindful they are about doing no harm to themselves, each other and the children as the children experience the full reality of their Expanded Family landscape. Aka level one, level two and level three.
Level two: Biological and Step (Mom and stepdad’s house and Stepmom and Dad’s house)
Level three: the space between level one and two which the children travel.
In this way, all of the adults involved are all responsible for who they are, what they send out and how mindful they are about doing no harm to themselves, each other and the children as the children experience the full reality of their Expanded Family landscape. Aka level one, level two and level three.
Christina Marie, dubbed the "Bio-Stepmom Peace Negotiator (aka Holistic Stepfamily Coach)
Expanded Consciousness:
Home of:
Expanded Family Magazine
Navigational Skills for Stepfamilies (the workbook)
Women In Stepfamilies Mini Book Series
Women in Stepfamilies
Whose Hair Is It?
How to Chill Out and Why
It’s Not Really About Hair
Book 2
Remote Control: How to Stay Focused on What Happens
in Your Home and Why You have More Power When You do
Book 3
He's Not the Dad You Want Him To be
How to Accept Who He Is
and Why That Helps Kids Accept Who They Are
Stories of Courageous Vulnerability
(Book with 40 authors from around the world)
Love Affair with Thy Self (The Movement)
Tender is the Heart: 16 Lessons of Love & Loss (coming out soon)
Expanded Consciousness:
Home of:
Expanded Family Magazine
Navigational Skills for Stepfamilies (the workbook)
Women In Stepfamilies Mini Book Series
Women in Stepfamilies
Whose Hair Is It?
How to Chill Out and Why
It’s Not Really About Hair
Book 2
Remote Control: How to Stay Focused on What Happens
in Your Home and Why You have More Power When You do
Book 3
He's Not the Dad You Want Him To be
How to Accept Who He Is
and Why That Helps Kids Accept Who They Are
Stories of Courageous Vulnerability
(Book with 40 authors from around the world)
Love Affair with Thy Self (The Movement)
Tender is the Heart: 16 Lessons of Love & Loss (coming out soon)
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