Where Expanded Stepfamily and Love Affair with Thy Self Co-Exist
Freedom to Express all that we are and all that we feel through movement, music and higher body/mind states.
©Expanded Consciousness LLC
*This Musical-Exercise is not intended as a substitute for the medical, health or alternative healing advice of physicians, therapists or mental health care professionals. The reader should regularly consult a physician, therapist or mental health care provider in matters relating to his/her health, safety, or emotional well-being, particularly; with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention and/or more specifically, as it relates to any and all mental illness or substance abuse issues. It also requires the adults who facilitate the experience to be prepared to handle anything that comes out of a child's mouth with acceptance. Therefore, it's important that parents do their own inner emotional work prior to designing.
Here's how it works:
Everyone in the family picks their own two songs. Or there are just two songs.... (Whatever the family wants)
The first song intention is to get the positive, fun and happiness juices flowing through the body/mind. Whatever song makes any person in the family feel the happiest, would be their song.
These three selections are some of the more popular for family affinity and fun. Particularly when Dad dances to Beyoncé. That has the power to cause anything from giggles to...oh my god Dad...no... Either way, it really brings out the love and laughter
The second song intention is to be honest yet kind about what is hard to express.
Perhaps things that upset, hurt or angered someone.
The beauty and benefit of this being designed to happen after all that happiness (and while our bodies are in movement) is the things that bother us or the things we haven't said becomes a little safer to say because it's being said with intention and as the body is already in movement and....no one is being blindsided.
The younger the child, the less this part is necessary.
Mostly what parents discover is...children are often receptive to feeling joy and happiness, they sometimes have a hard time finding anything to really share. Depending on their age and with older siblings... there has to be some mindfulness and rules. Just in case. Again, depending on the connections.
The parents are in charge and fully responsible for setting this up with everyone's emotional capacity in mind.
And often, many families decide to skip this second part when they want a little extra affinity circulating through the house first. To lighten the space and connections so when they do use this second part-there are happy memories existing when it's done. That can be very important for the success of this experience when the tension is or has been thick. However, it's just as likely doing both songs will bring that lightness back to the surface.
This is very powerful experience for many families. People often worry about the second song however, sometimes, people have a hard time holding all the good that comes flowing out of their family members.
As an example:
In one home, the father/Stepfather was so overwhelmed by how generous the children were with him, he couldn't handle it because below that, he was struggling with addiction and felt so much guilt and shame, the goodness that was happening-he wasn't able to hold or accept it. Again, it's really important to be emotionally responsible, very aware and mindful. Both adults in the house have to be true leaders. I'm talking about being able to take in, not just all the feedback that may not be so great, but also how very deeply good some children's desires are and how much they love.
(This is also why parents loving themselves is very important)
Here are three of many songs families like to pick for the second part.
Healthy Emotional Honesty for Stepfamilies
If done well, with the intention of being a family that has the capacity to be emotionally honest in healthy and constructive ways-what everyone will experience is a sense of being heard at a level that lightens the entire house and often, very often...brings happiness and closeness because everyone has shared in a very full bodied way with each person as individuals and then as a family everyone feels heard, valued and the love goes up. It's actually beautiful to behold when that happens
How to Build the Safe Container