Women in stepfamilies fight for superficial layers of respect when reverence would serve their sense of self and the children so much more. A lot of us women have an incomplete, untold or unhealed story, the story of our lives which has us showing up in whatever way we are showing up. An unhealed story has a very specific vibration, just as-the story of a woman who finally gave herself permission to move from surviving to thriving has.
The problem with invalidating a persons story while spitting back-too soon and without any reverence: “Don’t be a victim.” Or “Don’t be bitchy," is: unless you have walked in her
My all time favorite invalidating interference masked under the illusion of “good advice,” for any woman (or person) who is on the path toward healing is: “Just get over it.”
I mean maybe just get over it, or maybe don’t worry so much about the pressure of just getting over it, and perhaps instead allow her the space to feel her own truth so deeply there is no place to run or hide as she learns how to to move through a little thing called HER LIFE. After all, discovering ourselves as we learn how to move through anything is a part of the path, a preventative tool with long term health benefits, in addition to; our sense of being capable as human beings.
Maybe as she tries her best to just get over it to please other people who can’t handle, hold or tolerate her: her psyche and her soul speaks louder: “something is missing, something’s not right, this isn’t complete and no thank you,” again and again and again as whatever she is suppose to just get over pops right back up like a buoy in the water. Maybe women are not designed to just “get over it,” maybe we are designed to move through the stories of our lives in ways that help us heal until we learn how to do that with power, dignity and grace along the way and maybe that is how we can hold other women, giving them room to move through it too. How is a woman ever going to learn how to get there if everyone keeps telling her to just be there already?
I’m the queen of “maybe,” because I believe maybe carries the energy of: Something else may-be possible here and inside the realm of possibility and expansion the word maybe has a softness that says “try this on, see how it feels because you are the only person who knows what is true for you.”